Pick Up Future .com

How pick up has hurt development of dating coaching as a profession

2010-09-15T09:47:00.001-07:00

It finally dawned on me what has happened. I have been dating coach now close to decade, and i have been watching dating coaching as industry grow at very slow pace, only this year has i been seeing any significant change in prospective toward dating coaches. I keep trying to figure out the reason, since it didn't make any sense. There are still millions of singles, in new york alone 4 million are single, at least 10% of that are people who are able to paying for coaching, and probably want too. Why haven't they?

Lets look at it from a different angle, how many lawyers are there in NY? how many nail salons? bars? there are tens of thousands of lawyers, thousands of nail salons, tens of thousands of bars.
Now how many are the big, really develop dating coaching agencies in NY? two or three, and i assure none of us are making killing. At best, its good living. If there is so many people who can afford it, and in fact need it badly, why haven't it been that busy for even few agencies in NY that are there? Simple, peoples perception, dating coaches are viewed as pick up artists.

Why? here we have to thank the game and mystery show. Both are flashy, dazzling, fun, sexy, witty and incredibly negatively polarizing to anyone who is not in pick up world. It is very hard not to find some dirt on practically any pick up company. I did write up on Dr.Phill show on this blow few years ago, where they pretty much they made a laughing stock of love systems by bringing Ross "the creeper" Jeffries, love systems were smart and they played safe, playing up social aspect, and Dr.Phill was going along for first part of the show, and then he brought out the crazy Jeffries, and turned audience on the whole world of pick up. If you watch that show, you will see that crowd was partially supportive of love systems, but after Jeffies, there was only pure hate left.

Now lets trace it back to the game, the game came out, there was huge interest in media in the pick up artist world. Except when ever pick up artist would appear in media, there would either negative or at best, neutral spin. Even the good article would be laced with some words that can be taken as negative.

Lets define what is pick up artist is to average person - Dushbag, player, scum bag, manipulator, low life. If you mentioned anyone you were in pick up community, you would get immediate outpouring of hate on you.

Lets define dating coach- helps dating, improves social skills, social interactions, helps meeting new people, confidence boosting

Which one looks better? yes Dating coach, but which one is more exiting to write about? ahh, well pick up artist hands down. More tension, mystery, sex, excitement and a lot of controversy.

After the pick up artist show, it became almost comical at some point, people stopped taking pua seriously, more like a funny joke. Yet people bunched dating coaches and puas in the same boat.
It is very difficult to be taken seriously, when compared to puas.

Past few years it was getting better people begin to forget what puas are, and now it is about dating coach, next wave is coming up.

This is message for all coaching puas out there, if you are not a coach yourself but know someone, forward this post to him. This will make his work a lot easier and a lot more profitable.

The sooner you switch from pua lingo to normal talk, the sooner you will have more clients. Pua has reached its peak and has been in decline, the term pick up artist will never have a prestige, it never had it even at its peak. If you want to be part of the solution to the problem, start calling yourself dating coach, step away from "secrets of seduction" lingo and leave pick up community alone. Lets make it our battle cry, because until we do, people will be uncomfortable working with someone who's whole definition of profession is untrustworthy.

Has it been that long?

2010-07-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

With this interactive start i will continue my on and off again flirting with this blog.

What does Simon spy? i spy amazing amount of commoditization going around the pua world. It is no longer the magical formula of early - mid 2000s, when a random person though his dating life will get transformed in 3 days of "intense seduction and attraction packed magical powder formula". I see a lot more people shopping around more especially if they are part of the community, they no longer buy 3 day of change spiel and rightfully so. There will be guys who will benefit tremendously from those 3 day workshops, except it will about 10% of them, and those guys usually already had socially elements down, they just needed for some one to tie them together. To those guys it almost irrelevant which program they take.

As i acurattely predicted about 3 years ago (self serving plug here) , pua industry is splintering into a lot of up and commers usually 1 or 2 men operations, who provide more personalized coaching then the bigger pua companies. I see some guys work for large company for few month (yes, literally few month, what a person can learn in a few is highly questionable) then go on an open their own company, of-course its better then "the original", at least according to the founder of the new company. There is a lot more to it, but i wouldn't want to bore you with the industry details.

In other news "The Game" will become a movie.
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/05/25/the-game-neil-strauss-movie-adaptation/

2010 Is here

2010-01-30T11:46:00.000-08:00

Life has been busy, i am as usually working on bit projects. I figured i will post some of my thoughts on the community and what i see happening.

Big companies like Love systems, RSD are getting hurt, it easy to see from the way they send out newsletters. Pickup and dating coaching is as luxury as it gets. Small and medium size companies are closing, after finding out that pick up is much much harder industry then it is in good times.

As i have predicted there is a lot more 1on1 concentration in community now, especially among small and medium players. The latest thing i have seen some guys do is give seminar and asking to donate or decided if they want to pay or not upon completion. This is what i call desperation, it means past sales strategies are not working.

I was also right about pick up guys moving to call themselves dating coaches, in fact it is going further then that, it is as if some companies want to leave pick up artist names behind all together. I dont know if some of them read my blog, or came to conclusion themselves but the move to dating coach term is very obvious.

In new york i see profilifration of small groups, my nyc wingmen used to be one of the few, but in the past year i have seen at least 10-15 new groups get started. That is a big difference. Cheap events seem to be the rage right now, seens you don't have to be good enough to teach, but you can still organize meetings and then maybe start teaching once you have solid following.

What i saw last year was panic in pick up community, as recession took hold, dating coaching while important is not food or sleep, it can wait. Thats what i see guys do now, they wait. Or if he cant wait he might do only one workshop, instead of do a few to see what is better for him.

Pick up artist didn't became a glamorous term and it never will.

Some Domain Names for Pick Up and Dating Coach for Sale.

2009-08-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

My partners and me decided to start selling some domain names we own, since we think it will do more good for people out there to develop them rather then us holding them.

Here you can see what other domains on pick up and dating coaching we have available, this is not our full list, please contact us for our full list or if you would like to find out more about one of the listed domain names. To find out more just simply respond to this post, you post will to be shown to public in this thead. All requests and offers will be kept privet and confidental.

ThePickUpArtists.com

NaturalPickup.com

PickUpSeminar.com

PickUpSeminars.com

PickUpBootCamps.com

PickUpBootCamp.com

PUAseminars.com

PuaSeminar.com

KissClose.com

PhoneClose.com

AverageFrustratedChamp.com

Qualifying.com

DisplayHighValue.com

ExpertPickup.com

ExpertPickUps.com

ApproachingWoman.com

ApproacingTips.com

ApproachingManual.com

BecomePUA.com

BePua.com

ChangeVenues.com

BuyingTemperture.com

Sarging.Us

AlphaPickUp.com

ApproachAGirl.com

PickUpBooks.com

PickUpBodyLanguage.com

IamPua.com

NaturalGameCoach.com

PickUpSeduction.com

PickUpOpeners.com

PUAinstructors.com

FalseTimeConstraint.com

PickUpRoutines.com

AlphaPua.com

PickUpManual.com

To contact met about one of the domains, reply to this post and write your email to contact you in the post. All posts with your contact information will not be published to keep your privacy.

Me been gone long time. ;)

2009-06-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys and gals, has been busy and not in the posting mind set. But now ready to post my thoughts.

Few things, pick up will never be big movement. It will be very big underground movement, but that's where it will stay, underground. Pick up gurus and wannabes, will have to move to larger movement, which is a dating coach, or be left underground, where the growth will be limited.
I covered before why its happening, and i was right, at the time it was just a prediction, it is turning to be right on the money.

Here is what i am seeing now in pick up community, more and more pick up guys, are renaming themselves into dating coaches. I am seeing women writing articles, about how to use pick up ideas, to establish value. I cant find the link to the article, but i seen it recently, where a woman used lingo of neging to raise her value over guy in flirting article.

I think people just becoming better aware of the social interactions. Consciously aware.

Over abundance of pick up "gurus" since most of those who say that, are not, is becoming clear, thought big and prominent once are still at the top. Here in NYC i see guys left and right announcing themselves next mysteries and promising to lead you on the path to great success with women. Then disappear few month later. Which means that people who are trully good and stick around will be far better positioned then people who come to "hit it and quit it". I have seen probably a dozen pick up guys open and close shop in past few years. Skill level of them varied, but in general most are confident but not very good.
Heck, it took me long enought to become really long time to be good at coaching, and i still learn something new every day.

Recession didnt affect people as i thought it would, people who need coaching, still will come to get it, and those who did't still don't. Thought some should. I might be taking steps to start branch into speed dating corner of the market, though it is pretty cut throat right now, so it will take some preparation.

I am seeing more women interested in coaching, which is very interesting. Mostly due to new VH1 show where a guy teaching women how to improve their social interactions.

Dating in Society is changing ?

2008-12-25T18:22:00.000-08:00

I have heard before people say, we are smarter now then ever before, and the case is, we really arent smarter. We have fancier technology, but mind wise we are same to people in 1000Bc and 0 Ad and 1000 AD. If you take any person from that time as baby and raise him in our world, he or she might look a bit different, but will be as inteligent as us. Some one have recently suggested me a book from 1937 on seduction. We are talking over 70 years ago., the name of the book "Lets Make Marry". A very interesting look into dating in early 20th century. Its more of a funny book, then dating advice, but it shows sociological views in meeting and dating of that period.

What is very interesting, and i dont think we give it much thought at all, how meeting and dating has existed since well, ever. There might be some arranged marriages in places like India, but over all there had to be 2 reasons for marriage and procreation. Survival (aka money, support, provider) and feelings (love, seduction, dating). How it was done, surely was different, but it has existed for ever. There are a lot more of "dance steps" now, since we don't have to work from dusk till dawn and therefore have more leisure time. It is very different then it was even 100 years ago, but everyone is in same boat, so nothing really changed, since while 100 years ago there might have been no online or very few phones, no one else had online or phones, so it was even for everyone. People who were active met more. Similarly now, we have online and phones, but so is everyone else have them.

I've been asked before, who has advantage in dating men or women. I will answer this question as i have answered it before. It is a very dumb question. This is not competition, men want to meet women and women want to meet men, guys have to approach, girl want relationship. It is not a competition, and if you dating someone and feel that it is too much effort, then chances are you shouldn't be dating that person. Same goes for meeting, if you approach a girl and it conversation feels like someone is pulling your teeth, then you should walk away, you will be doing yourself a favor.

Kicking ass and taking numbers

2008-11-28T22:27:00.001-08:00

Few people know that i used to do and teach martial arts for quiet some time, one of the most efficient and effective types too. What i found that a person cant just be intellectual without feeling adrenaline, feeling energy surge through him. I have been finding myself too soft lately, out of touch with my energy. I haven't trained seriously in martial arts for over a year, i do still train on occasion , but its a joke compared to what its trully needed. Same goes for dating, if you out of touch with your energy ,then you are out of touch with yourself. You cant date and connect because it is not you who they meeting, but a weaker shell. It is time to get out of my intectualized self, and go back to raw self, i feel me and my body needs it. I need to kick some ass.

A musing about nothing

2008-11-16T15:38:00.000-08:00

I was browsing quoters of Bernard Shaw, a famous irish playwright of 19th century (1851-1944) and saw a man give review of a play of bernard shaw, in pretty good manner until this point:

"Shaw has a lot of other standard types of characters you encounter in literature and theatre such as the poetic, effeminate young man who falls for the older married woman. Shaw also creates a rebel who is actually shown in a better light than a pastor. His women characters can be either strong or silly. In Man and Superman, he seems to suggest that the man who is romantic and worships women never marries, but the man who is cynical about them ends up getting the girl. Is he right? I didn't really think so. I thought women liked men who worshipped them."

We are talking about all this change and dating, and how rules of dating change. Yet, rules of dating are still same, in 1800s it was as now. We are still run by the most basic wiring that there is. Unavailable is and has always been an aphrodisiac to our brain. Sure, the methods of how we meet and date have changed, but our psychological wiring has been with us since birth of humans, and nothing will changed it untill there are human beings still roaming this planet. If anything dating became more complex, it introduced more layers. Thats why dating coaches are coming out of the wood works, meeting is easier then ever right now(online, mobile), but meeting and connecting has changed, adding more to complexities.

Here are some Quotes of George Bernard Shaw:

A day's work is a day's work, neither more nor less, and the man who does it needs a day's sustenance, a night's repose and due leisure, whether he be painter or ploughman.
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means.There is no such thing in the country.

About Nice guys, random thoughts

2008-11-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

First thing first, its important to put in context of what i think are nice guys. So that way we are on same page. Nice guy to me is someone, who is confused by women and afraid to take a step without getting approval from that woman first. In fact, as time passes, the severity of being nice guy becomes even more acute, as they over think every (real or hypothetical) interaction with a woman. By severity, i mean being in their own head. Its very hard to be creative human being, when there is fear of taking a step around woman, so they start to tippy toe.

I do not know if thats good or bad, but it certainly current condition of dating. Where guys ask, but if she doesn't like that i say? never ending concern about what woman will think. To that i have only one answer, yes, but what if you dont like what she says. Why not listen first? It is trully vice versa experience, and not one way street where guy has to please.

As far as dating coach and pick up community, while it certanly have taken great strides from its new born form, it is still far and away only hap hazard growth at best. There are three reasons for it. One, many guys still think that dating skill is purely inheretant, and it will come to them sooner or later and so they shine improving their dating skill conciously (women on the other hand, truly polish their dating skills to almost art, but no one talks about it.) Second reason, people still dont belive that this change is possible. Third, men assume that it is monipulative, someone has to lose for another to win (media tend to concentrate on this one). Sadly, there is some truth to the later argument, due to the ways some puas teach more manipulative methods. These 3 reasons make up majoroity of reasons for slow movement toward majority of single guy population . There is fourth invisible reason, and thats lack of social approval and lack of political correctnes, everything should be fair, media screams. They don't care that there are millions of single guys, who feel like shit and dont know what to do about it.

Unlike online dating, or speed dating, both of which enjoyed a superb growth, i am noticing significant slow down in growth of interest about pick up. The reasons i listed above are explanation to it. Lack of political correctness is the hidden and biggest road block. Here is an example, Goth music and style, it has following but its not cool and had bad stigma, therefore while in its own nitch there are famous singers, clubs, music, etc. It has very little reach into general public. This is a rought example, but it somewhat comperable analogy.

SociakWingmen.com - Way to meet wings

2008-10-15T11:19:00.001-07:00

Need a wingman for night on a town, or some day game, but you cant
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Creat your own groups, post or see videos, learn about meeting and dating from fellow wingmen and find wings.

The Pick UP Artist vh1 Season 2 is Out and rolling. Learn what happens next

2008-10-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

But since this is not PUA blog, i will leave to others to cover the updates.

What i will cover, is the amount of people who seems to be flocking to pua banner. Huge huge wave of new members at SocialWingmen.com much larger then normal sign up ratio at NYCwingmen.com and this is only second day of The pickupartist 2 showing. I did say last year that the amount of people will double this year, and i will likely be right.
Yet most people who are joining are in their early 20's which is understandable, yet makes you wander when the 30's, 40's and 50's will come in. I have my thoughts on it, but i will leave it off the tabel. The Pick up artist show, is in reality 30 minute advertisment of pick up. As i mentioned before, google searches double (ongoing for a year now) after pick up artists show for the term pick up artist. It means that twice amount of people were aware of pick, as before the show. Thats a VERY LARGE number. here is a shot of it. I am expecting to double again, this time around thought, it might shot up much higher then ever before. Since it might brake the 3 Is.

Right now ALL pick up artist business will experince huge boost in traffic. Think of it as if McDonalds were advertising in your city, Mystery is the Ronald McDonald. But you dont know where one in your city located, so you will go out, or google, or just type in mcdonalds.com and see if it comes up. Thats exactly whats happening, Mystery is the Ronald McDonald, and Vh1 is MCds. But, when they start looking for mcdonald, a lot of places will come up in the city search. Those places are the pick up artist business, so while mystery will get a lot of benefit out of it, everyone else in pick up busines will get maybe not as much benefit, but they will certanly do a lot better then if Mystery never did the show.

If you are one of the high roling pickup companies aka RSD, LoveSystems, Pickup101, Vinusian arts, or another one that is medium sized, or just want to get started in the industry, and want to get an edge over competitors in this industry. I am available for consulting. Post a message here with an emai, small coment about yourself and i will get back to you, its all confidential so post won't show up on the blog.

Check out: : Pick Up Artist

Doing quick pickup domains for sale. Great names for pickup site

2008-10-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

I need some liquidity for the upcoming project, so i decided to sell some of my domain names. Here is a list:

Contact with offers.

PickUpSeminars.com ( sold together with with PuaSeminars.com)

ArtOfFlirt.com (sold together with TheArtofFlirt.com)

ThePickUpArtists.com

NaturalPickup.com (sold with NaturalPua.com)

SpeedDatingAdvice.com

PuaWiki.com (sold with pickupwiki.com)

GuideToPickUp.com

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Steping away from our normal broadcast. Lets talk about the weather

2008-10-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today, by far, was the best day of fall. It is that day, when you know that summer is saying final goodbye, and master all its strength for one last day. It feels more like spring then fall, it is that warm, lazy weather that kicks off spring. My cat is sleeping peacefully on a couch, curled up in a ball. The gray and white ball. He doesnt want to chase a toy mouse, nor anything else, just sleep in the false spring feel. I just got back from outside, and this is the day, when the king gathers around his people and says: "Well we had it good, but after this we got 6 month of sleep and freezing cold"

Few block away from my house, playground is full of kids. Running around, screaming, teens playing basketball, there is no usual arguing in the background. This kind of weather puts everyone in a good mood.

Economy and how it will affect pick up

2008-10-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure that seminars and bootcamps will wind down, Significantly for most pick up industry big and medium names. I dont think it will affect lower ranged priced items, if anything, it might increase the demand for them as people no longer buy seminars and boot camps.
Pickup is a luxury industry, some will argue that men need to meet women, to that i will say. If a man trully wants to get laid, he will go and get a hooker, instant gratification. Ability to meet women is a long term skill, aka not sex drive imediate satisfaction. Following me? good, and thats why pick up seminar can be postponed. I been watching economic colapse very closely, and it is 100% certain that it will and has already affected pick up and dating coaches. In the next few month, we will find unwinding of the financial faliures that happened in september and now. If i were big pick up guys, i would start shoring up cash. On the other hand, they have very little overhead, so i guess they will be alright.

I've been thinking of releasing new products, but i am short on time and any significant development will take a lot of attention. I just did seminar recently on natural skill of meeting and dating, and that's 5 hours of Audio + Notes and but thats the easy part. To hire someone to edit it, to make it, and the biggest part is to build website that will resonate with people who want to improve their natural ability at meeting women, thats the main difficulty. I will probably take up this project next summer.

New York Dating Coach in NYC

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Pick up Future?

2008-10-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

Last year, the VH1 show The PickUp Artist came out swinging. Those who paid attention, would notice that search for term pick up artist, has skyrocketed during shows showing, by about 10 times normal. After the show it had settled down, but, at double the rate of what it was before the show.

There are difference this time around though. On a positive side, a lot more people are expecting it and will be watching it and telling their friends to watch. This was not the case last fall. ALL, and i mean ALL, pick up places and dating coaching institutions should be glad VH1 doing it. Because of aforementioned traffic and boost in people. On Negative side, there is economy. So while Mystery method aka love systems , rsd , pickup 101, vinusian arts and all other places, might have had great year 2007, this wont likely be the case this year. Then again, maybe due to sheer size of people finding out about this through the show, it might be an alright year, but i wouldnt bet on it.

Pick Up Artist 2 to Air on October 12th

2008-09-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

VHI has reteamed with pickup master Mystery for a second season of “The Pickup Artist,” premiering Oct. 12.

Mystery will guide nine “socially awkward” students in how to pick up women. The last man standing will receive $50,000.

New wing-girl Tara will join Mystery and season one’s wing-man Matador in “The Pickup Artist 2,” which moves to Phoenix for this season.

“It's certainly no mystery why we've partnered again with Mystery,” said Jeff Olde, VH1’s executive VP of original programming and production, in a statement. “He already had a legion of followers from his book when we launched ‘The Pickup Artist’ series last year, and now he's grown into a pop culture phenomenon. He’s even been parodied on ‘Saturday Night Live’—a true indicator of water-cooler buzz.”

SocialWingmen.com - Meet your wings

My take on it. Last fall when pick up artist show came out, it was huge rise in interest in pick up. This time around i am expecting take 2 of that, so once again, more people will start looking for pick up material , pick up books, coaching, and all that stuff. Mystery will be taking the major cut of that, but we small guys also will be picking up crumbs of whats left. In fact, if you look at google trends, search for pick up artist words on google literally quadrupled during the showing ofthe show.

Revisiting older post:: How Pua can be very bad for guys

2008-09-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

This is revisit of an older blog post i made how pua can be a bad habit.

Someone left an interesting comment on it, so i want to build more on the topic of pua and where we should draw line, and what is the line. I have simple rule in my meeting and dating with women, i wont do what i wouldnt want to be done on me.

As through my journey, when i would brake up with a girl, i would just go MIA , so no calls no texts. I figured if we just FBs, its no big deal. But then i realized, and experienced that on my part, that its much better to call and make a clean brake, so the girl doesnt feel hanging. So its not about just be concerned about how i feel, but also about how girls feel, and leaving her with no word or anything is something i no longer do. Even for a short phone call, i will make clear why its not working and wont work.

To those PUAs who think routines and mechanical planning is everyrythgin, i am here with a good news. Once you have tunned yourself to be able to feel the interaction, you dont need any routines or pre made stuff, women will want to be around you. It probably will be the hardest thing, letting go of the methods you are used too, but it has to be done. What you will notice when you go cold turkey, so to speak, that you will be more concious of your interactions not in manipulation sort of way, but being in a moment sort of way. You will start noticing and catching yourself, when you are about to use routine, why do you use routine? it simple, routines feel safe, as they take you back to comfort zone, where you know what will happen. Which ofcourse is not true. No routine will make you attractive, and if you are fun and interesting to begin with, you dont need routines.

www.SocialWingmen.com - Meet your wings

Just Launched: Wingmen Site. SocialWingmen.com

2008-09-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

It has been in development for a long time , but finaly it has arrived. Meet wingmen in your area, find someone with comparable set of skills and interests, and you can meet women without waiting for your friends to go out, or someone to throw a party. Just go to SocialWIngmen.com and find a wing in your area. You can find wingmen based on skill level, day time or night time sarging interest, location , age and other paraments.

Things are heating up

2008-09-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

I certainly over estimated the speed of growth of dating/pick up market, one of the main reasosn would be the weakness of over all economy in USA. Finance and mortage crisis are affecting disposable income, and less people are willing to spend on dating coaching which is significant investment for many. While, cheaper, shorter term alternatives such as speed dating and events are doing just fine, at least in new york since dating/love is not really a choice. While, Dating coaching is more of an investment in a long run, it also costs more, and now with uncertain market, it takign a beating.

Sorry for the pause

2008-08-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

I have been busy, but do have some updates. Pick up Artists Season 2 has done its casting, and i think they will start shooting soon (maybe already did). Another pick up show is on the way, more with reality angle, MTV made is making episode with a dating coach.

I see a lot smaller dating coaches poping up all over usa in past 3-4 month.

Interesting quote

2008-07-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

I saw on google page, quote of the day. Interestingly, i agree. As far as community, i see spike in press interest, NewYorkDatingCoach.com did this friday interview about texting and i have Mtv and Abc prodding us for story material and BBC recently contacted me but it didn't work out. So things are picking up.

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
- PJ Plauger

Slower growth in the Industry then i anticipated

2008-06-28T21:21:00.000-07:00

It seems spring and summer would be busiest, yet alexa rankings show same amount of traffic and in some cases less (in case of RSD and few others) then in the winter. I am surprised, it could be because of the lack of large scale projects that happened in the fall and winter, such as: Pick up artists season 1 and Neail Strausses book release, which incidentally happened one after another. In fact, we haven't had any big news at all. I might have been over optimistic in the estimation growth of trend, mainly because this is very emotional and very few people can maintain drive of improvement for long, so a lot in and out guys. Who come in for few month, sniff around and then disappear.

I do see the community building up a lot more actively and more main stream here in NYC, a lot more smaller players come into the market. I am yet to see anyone making a major splash though. In fact smaller players tend to build up more on 1on1 coaching and less concentration of seminars. I am seeing more none community people opening dating coaching, and life coaching sites. So the trend here might be, more women coaches and life coaches entering the market. Might get pretty confusing in the future.

New York Datign Coach, dating advice in NYC

When being dating coach comes back and bites you

2008-06-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

in this case, you is me. I have been dating a cool girl for past few weeks, we were getting along, a lot fun together. Me not dating or meeting anyone else in that period of time, as i said, i have changed my ways of getting laid like rock start a few years ago, and since then when i see quality i stick with it and see where it goes, rather then be looking for greener pastures.

I didnt tell her that i am a dating coach, for obvious reasons, girls think to think you running tactics and manipulating them. Which i never did, nor recommend any one else to do that. I have dont martial arts in the past, and still ocassionaly have clients come in to do a session. Mostly recreational now, but still can qualify of work to an extent, so thats what i say i do. Well, i just got message from her, with text, jigg is up and link to her blog post of me being pick up artists/Bser. While the whole we were together, i did nothing to manipulate an energy, and we had great time together. Just goes to show, that stigma of pick up artist is creeping in.

She didn't even bother to talk to me, to figure out why i haven't told her i was a dating coach (the reason would be i mentioned above, trust removed unless we been together for long enough to reveal that detail) . Sadly, both of us will be missing out on each others company, just because she was not trust worthy enough not to google my name, for i would reveal my true occupation in the due time.

Interview about day game

2008-06-05T10:02:00.001-07:00

I gave interview to a big seduction community news portal not to long ago and they have posted the interview on day game. Here is a Sneak peak.

Now… What are some of the biggest mistakes you see guys making in daygame?

Art: Its funny you mentioned it, i am right now writing the 4 myths about day game article, that talks about the main misconceptions and mistakes guys make

Nirvanos Deco: Give us a sneak peek

Art: Ok, well main mistakes are…

Starting with “excuse me”, its a small one, but almost all guys do it

Nirvanos Deco: Sure

Art: then, body language, often times guys tend to lean in rather then project voices and hold the ground, the shifting and moving as the speak, not even noticing it. Of course the girl does notice it.

Nirvanos Deco: Do you find these are more pronounced in the daygame?

Art: At night they are not as visible, because there is music, alcohol, a lot of action, so they are pronounced just because her full attention is on you, where at night she got distractions left and right.

Nirvanos Deco: Yeah

Art: This is also a big plus, though because if you know your mistakes, you can make day game approach so much more effective and efficient, just by removing those few small elements
Here is link.

Pick up artist and natural, what is different?

2008-05-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

This will be pretty controversial topic, since this will challenge majority of pick up artists wisdom and beliefs. What is "getting results" ?

Is getting results is getting laid, or is getting results is having fun through out the interaction and sex is part of having fun for both people?

I would like to insist that it is second, yet majority of material out there states directly or indirectly that it is first. I coach a lot 1on1 clients, and i see a lot of the first, i work with guys who have done Mystery, Pickup101, RSD, SHark and many other seminars and it seems they come to me asking about results, and i ask, what is results? how do you define results? getting laid as much as possible? is it really results. Because if thats how i would define results, i would never be in this industry, ever. Getting laid, is biological, so it is simply first step of communication between man and a woman, yet this is main concentration of seduction industry. If you look at commercial of most puas, it is "Seduce" "get Laid" , etc. BUT, does guys only want to get laid? because i went trough my stage of getting laid A LOT and it was fun, but i feel like it is very shallow, possibly necessary step, but it just a step, yet it seems majority of mpuas stop and get stuck at that stop.

I have nexted 3 girls in this past month (with each one i could have easily slept with) but i no longer could myself bring to waste my time on them, i can no longer go out with a girl who i have no true interest in. Today i went out with a girl with whom i had chemistry, and i dont mean just biological, but just a good connection. It is such a different feeling from just getting around.

If you look at most if not ALL, of puas none of them in LTR or married. So if they are so good at finding quality women, how come they still just getting around from lay to lay. Ever wondered about that?
So why does puas get stuck on the step of getting around? I see guys admiring mpuas, but reality of it is, do they really deserve the revery they get?

From my personal life, i will no longer coach after this june, because i feel the teaching and my personal life is too close, and it is starting to show. I can no longer feel true energy, i have became sated, it is becoming a pattern that i know so well, so i have to stop.

I guess there is a minus to natural energy (which is my school so to speak), because it can no longer be natural if you do it too much.

Before i leave, i will record video of day game and what it really is. I see to much crap of you tube, and i am yet to see anyone truly solid. That includes Pickup 101 and C2C, both of whom are on just barely acceptable level. I guess i will leave my "secrets" before i leave the community .

Dating Coaching in NYC for Women

Movie on pick up: MOVED to 2009

2008-05-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

Let the Game Begin, was supposed to come out 2008 May 15ht, moved to 2009.

It has some decent sized acters, like the Father of Will Smith from the Prince of Bella aire.
Seems to be purely about pick up. Idea is, guy got burned by gold digger and now needs help of pick up artists to get confidence.

They got site up with trailer, here is link.

Awfuly bad dating advice

2008-05-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

I am thinking of making this an ongoing feature. This one especially bad, infact it is one of the reasons why women dating coaches who try to give advice to men, are clueless idiots. Take a look at this jewel, this was posted on front page of yahoo, so its not some random article off the web, but more of a "fuck them up" article, since the title of it 10 First Date Tips for Men in reality should be a 10 Tips men should never do, unless they want to be just friends. Enjoy the reading. I would be more then happy to dissect why this is possibly one of the worst advices for the first date for any man.

Men often complain that women are mysterious, complicated creatures who are difficult to please. In truth, most women are quite easily pleased from a date one once you know how to make them feel desired, safe, and inspired. These 10 tips will ensure you put your best foot where it belongs... forward!

#1: A first date should be light, fun and romantic. A real first date is when you've both decided that you'd like to get together for more than a quick beverage. The female definition of a first date is this: You pick her up and make reservations. Any deviance from this time-tested formula is usually a red flag, and not what most females consider a proper first date.

Romantic Rule: Starbucks doesn't count!

#2: A long lead time.

Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance.

Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance. They know that women like to be treated like they're too in demand to have huge holes in their social calendars, (even if you have intel that would suggest otherwise!) You'll create romantic tension by giving her several days to look forward to seeing you. Besides, this creates the secret ingredient of seductive success... anticipation.
Romantic Rule: Create romance by planning in advance for it.

#3: Actions speak louder than words. Women know that men invest in the things that they value with whatever resources they have at their disposal, be it cash, creativity, energy, or enthusiasm. If you make plans that are insultingly casual, it's a clear sign that you're withholding your approval from her. Women will take this lackluster performance seriously, and often shoo you away without further ado. You don't have to spend big bucks, but if you like her, why not come up with something that will delight her?
Romantic Rule: The plans you make for her, tell her the plans that you have for her!

#4: A confirming call. Being vague about your plans will only cause most women needlessly anxiety. If you men had any idea about the pre-date regime that women go through to get ready for a high priority date, you'd all be much more on top of this one. When you call to confirm your first date late, she'll be irritated and stressed-out even if she doesn't show it.

Romantic Rule: Having good manners will make her feel like you're a great bet, and not a deranged stranger.

#5: A lovebird lands on her doorstop at the appointed time. It's bad form for a man to keep a woman waiting in general, but especially so on a first date. This often puts women into a state of "dressing disorder." When men are late, most women will just keep changing outfits until the doorbell rings and then be forced to greet you mid-outfit. She'll then blame this on you, the tardy man, who should've arrived on time to avert this crisis!

Romantic Rule: If you'll be delayed longer than 10 minutes, inform her of your new ETA as soon as you can. Most women l appreciate extra time to fluff-up before you ring their bell.

#6: Signal your attraction and approval immediately.

Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention.

Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention. On a first date, and every date, women will look for little clues that signal your desire. No matter how hot or how homely, she'll want to know that you find her fetching if she's agreed to spend quality time with you. To do this, quickly toss her a compliment. Try the old standby "You look great" or the new metrosexual classic, "Love your shoes" immediately upon your arrival. You'll have set a warm and positive tone and scored an easy point.

Romantic Rule: Quickly inspire romance and put her at ease by paying her a compliment.

#7: Woman are suckers for a man with a plan. Women love men who have the ability to care for them and about them. It's always a good sign when a man has made reservations because it's proof that you're not winging it. When you take control, it's a signal that she can relax and enjoy herself. The typical woman will also be wary of the man who asks in a whiny voice what she'd like to do.

Romantic Rule: Women assume that men who don't make reservations for them, have reservations about them!

#8: Pick up the check. If you're wondering who should pick up the first check. Please consider that women spend wads of money on first dates: there's the bikini waxing (painful), manicures, blow drys (time-consuming), lingerie (expensive), and Pilates (ridiculously over-priced). It's an investment for women to just show up.

Romantic Rule: The very least you can do is to pick her up and feed her. She's exhausted!

#9: Be a class act. If the date was a dud, don't weenie out and say "I'll call you." Just cut her loose by giving her a quick peck on the cheek and say, "Thanks for coming out tonight. It was great meeting you." That'll signal it's a wrap.

#10: Seal the deal. But if she knocked your socks off, walk her to her door, look her in the eyes, say "I had an amazing time tonight" and move in for the perfect nightcap... a goodnight kiss. If she turns her cheek, don't despair! She may not be ready for a liplock just yet. Tell her you want to see her again and set up your next date right then and there.

To get much better advice on image consulting and dating, NYC dating Coach

Mystery applies for patent on seduction

2008-05-20T14:59:00.001-07:00

Here is interesting thing: Mystery applied for a patent, i think its total crap. But this might get ugly among a lot of pua's, if they USA patent office will give it to him. New York Dating Coach on dating. United States Patent Application	*20080040131*
Kind Code	A1
von Markovik; Erik	February 14, 2008

Interpersonal pursuit method

Abstract

An interpersonal pursuit method specifically comprises instructing a male regarding improved methods for pursuing a physical relationship with a female. The method includes instructing males regarding three main steps of establishing attraction, building comfort, and seduction. These steps are executed in sequence. Each of these three main steps includes three constituent steps, which are also preferably executed in sequence. The step of establishing attraction occurs at a meeting location, the step of building comfort begins at a location that is within the meeting location, moves to a separate comfort location, and then moves a second time to a location within the seduction location, and the step of seduction occurs at the seduction location. Preferably, between about four and ten hours, within about seven hours being considered optimal, is allotted for the period from the beginning of the process until its conclusion.

Inventors:	von Markovik; Erik; (Las Vegas, NV)
Correspondence Name and Address:	WEISS & MOY PC 4204 NORTH BROWN AVENUE SCOTTSDALE AZ 85251 US
Serial No.:	502049
Series Code:	11
Filed:	August 10, 2006

U.S. Current Class:	705/1
U.S. Class at Publication:	705/1

Style got back the rights to the movie "THE Game"

2008-05-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Thats interesting. So now i think he is making his own movie on the game, here is his
"top secret "email

BREAKING NEWS: THE MOVIE VERSION OF THE GAME
Thanks for all the supportive emails about last week's announcement. I received a bunch of responses I'd really like to answer in a future newsletter, about some of the bigger issues of Love and Forever.

Because this has proven so far to be a secure list with no leaks, I guess I feel comfortable telling you something else:

Ever since the success of The Game, I've been a bit torn and confused about something.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--
LEAVING THE GAME OR LIVING THE GAME?
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--

My original plan was simply to put out The Game, and then start working on my next books on other subjects.

But after tens of thousands of emails from guys who wanted to learn, in addition to some behind the scenes advice from others in the community, I decided to train five apprentices with what I'd learned.
You've all probably read the wild stories from their lives today.

After that, I released 375 copies of the DVDs I made for them. And although some people managed to procure bootleg copies, they really missed out on the knowledge because I saved a lot of the method for
the follow-up coaching, tele-seminars, emails, and live seminar I did with the Final 375.

But that's not the point.

The point is that not only did I never plan to be in the business of coaching after that, I technically wasn't allowed to.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-
BANNED FROM TEACHING
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

What I've never told you is that I've been in a bind this whole time.

Because I had no idea how successful The Game would be, I allowed a certain type of film option that I wouldn't grant now. That film option bit me in the ass. It made it practically impossible to do certain things that would help the broadest amount of guys in the best way possible. These were things I'd dreamed about, things guys have been asking me for, things that would allow them to replicate my journey through a much quicker and easier route.

It saddened me to see more and more teachers out there who don't really care. And who don't have any real field experience or social skills. And who exploit my name in order to take the hard-earned money of people who have a real desire to master the game.

Well, that's all about to end. The film option is now mine again.

So all the guys who are worried about The Game suddenly becoming a mainstream movie can breathe easy for now. I'm officially free to do something special for you. Something that's never been done
before.

And I know you've heard a few "lasts" from me before, but this REALLY is it. Through experimenting with many different things in the limited capacity I was allowed since The Game, I know what I must do.

And I give you my word right here and now that this is it: as they say on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, it's MY FINAL ANSWER.

I need to put a few finishing touches on it, and test the hell out of it until I'm sure it's as perfect as my approach game at its peak, and then I will fill you in.

So hang tight. And we'll talk soon.

Yours,
Style

P.S. Thanks for your coolness and discretion and great emails. Keep it up, and I may just give you a brand new field report in the next email... with a killer routine. Maybe.
Stylelife Academy
REDACTED

Oh MY GOD , new ROUTINE? REALLY !!! I am so happy wow, at least i will have something to tell my clients to never use. I am tired of telling people that there is no fight outside.

Where are all the nice guys? turn out, everywhere

2008-05-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

Stumbled on this gem today:

"
And, in my experience, there are plenty of "good quality" women (and men) out there waiting to be pursued. You have to put some effort into finding them, of course.

This is a great point. I did the whole online dating thing, reasonably steadily, for about a year and a half before my boyfriend and I met. The thing that struck me from the several dozen dates I went on was how many nice guys there were out there. Seriously, the good eggs easily outnumbered the jerks 10 to 1. So while it definitely took me some time to find my boyfriend, it wasn't because I was meeting bad people; it just meant that sometimes it takes awhile to find someone with whom you have mutual chemistry. "

I love the positive spin she tries to put on nice guys, and the little disclaimer "so while it definitely took me some time to find my boyfriend". Thats the whole point, you met A LOT of nice guys, in fact majority of guys are nice guys, i am applying 80/20 rule here. Nice guy is a brand now that very few want. Hmmm, question comes to mind, so why did she bypass so many nice guys before she met her boyfriend? ohh yeh, there was no chemistry. Nice guys = No Chemistry , this is very general formula, but it is true none the less, nice guys don't have much balls, they take shit from girls and not willing to walk away plus they hope that something will happen.

When i teach seminars for learning annex, i would say 90% are nice guys, and 10% is naturals who want some tips on specific points. Nice guy is a life style, a life style of pain, hope and not met expectations.

Predictions: Nice guy discover pickup/dating communities and are trying to change their conditioned behaviors.

Result: More women are happy that more guys have balls. Happier marriages, happier relationships. More men are happy that they actually feel good about dating, and not hopping for the best.

Over sell seems to be name of the game

2008-05-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

I am seeing alot of puas trying to oversell their program, to a point of desperation. Do they really need to sell it that hard ?
All those secrets and hidden techniques. Reality is, most of it is bs, and few things that aren't are just smart common sense. Yet, their suggestions are being taken at face value, "sleep with women the next day" wtf? is the only goal for guys is to sleep the next day? i would like to object to that. Sex is fun, sure, but having fun and enjoying interaction and actually wanting to sleep with a woman that you like i think is much more important.
So why all this rant? it is simple, i just saw a newsletter from one of the lairs in new york, and boy do they try to oversell. It looks like their whole being depends on selling that one class.
There is no magic formula, i been long enough in this "game" to know that much, there are certain aspects that can be learned, but ultimately it is up to a person who wants to make the change.

Predications: overselling will continue.
Reason: When offered 5 new never heard secrets to seduce women, who can resist?

Social Dynamic, development and future posibilities

2008-05-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

I was just reading an article in local newspaper, and one story caught my eye. The girls in midwest and south take vow of celibacy and are wearing the celebrancy rings untill the marriage. While the whole practice is funny to me, since there was number of studies of why the program fails, thats another story. Here is interesting statistics, while girls who swear to be celibate stay virgins for 18 month longer, which sounds good, they are 6 times more likely to have oral sex and much more likely to have anal sex then girls who didnt swear to celibacy. so what does this really means?

What really stuck me is a piece of parents of those daughters and how they also opose gay and lesbian mariage, and want things go back to normal, like in the old days. And i thought, but what are those old days? 1800s? 1500's? or do they mean 1900's? or even their own generation?
It got to me, this will never go back, we are evolving and faster rate then ever before, it WILL NEVER GO BACK. Unless some calamity happens or nuclear war, we will continue to develop, and social norms will be extended. In 1800's a people didnt have role models such as britney spears, posters of half nude men and women all around, sex and porn seconds away on computer, 14 year old girls dressed like sluts in tight jeans and tight shirts, internet, or hot water for that matter and the bathroom was outside of the house, there was no electricity and chances were you never left your farm. Wow, they didn't have anything. So how will this go back? social dynamic and norms change and evolve. So the fact of even thinking of going back is ridiculous.
Those who have seen my analysis of online dating and match makers, know that changes are irrevocable. In fact, what will happen?

Since this blog about me predicting shit that might never happen, here i go again.
I mean our society is already as open as it gets about sex as i think it will, i don't think it will go beyond certain norms, and we certainly have pushed them to the top of the limit now. Yet happiness rating haven't gone up since, well never. In fact, people in poor countires are often times happier then people in developed countries such as USA, Germany ,japan (who has most suicides). So it means more synthetic, more virtual reality entertainment, more spirituality, trying to realize their own potential.

hmmm, so in conclusion, i dont think much will change, maybe more over indulgence, but we had that in the 60's and 70's so i dont know. Something will come, but the bottom line is, it will never go back to good old days of virginity. Sex is as much part of society now as MCdonalds, it is no longer for just making babies, we have condoms. We didn't have condoms untill mid 1900's , this change dynamic drastically and while we are wired to have kids and have urge to have sex, we now can control it. Which in a way should have diminished the power of women to choose, since "I got to take care of baby if i get pregnant" no longer the case, but it haven't due to feminism, work change, family structure, media and bunch others reasons, the power is actually have significantly have grown. Reason for the whole evolution of dating coaches and puas and appearance of them on the scene after 2000.

I am getting too deep. I stop here, maybe i will write part 2 some day.

PS: i finally figured true structure of social interaction, it takes 3 lines and i am not telling ;)
at least not yet took me fucking 7 years. Too much or too little?

First date: Idiots guide

2008-05-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

I decided to put up this article which i cutted and pasted from MSN written by some female dating "expert".

How to ace a first date
here's no question about it; a first date is a stressful and awkward experience. With all the pressures of coming up with witty conversation, using the right body language and subtly licking your teeth to remove any stray bits of food, it's easy to forget why you've submitted yourself to such torture. Ah, love.

Stay focused, ace that first date and maybe score a second with the following tips:

Go somewhere new
If you're nervous about conversing for two hours, opt out of a dinner date and go for something a little more unconventional, like a hike or an art gallery tour. "I prefer a date that's out of the ordinary. Dinner or meeting for drinks or coffee is so rehearsed," says Jeff Waldman, a general manager for sales and planning in Toronto. "The silliness of a cheesy game of mini putt, on the other hand, would tell me more about someone than any ‘traditional' date." Even if you don't hit it off, at least you had a fun night out.

Dress for success
First, dress comfortably - wear an outfit that makes you feel fabulous and gives you confidence. Second, dress appropriately - if you don't know the code, call ahead or ask your date. Third, dress to impress. "But don't be too revealing - you want to show him that the date matters to you. Don't distract him to the point that he only has sex on the brain," says Rebecca Rosenblatt, a certified relationship and sexuality therapist, and host of Between the Sheets on W Network. "A slight peek-a-boo - an exposed cleave as you bend down to pick up something, an exposed waist as you stretch -- raises curiosity better than letting it all hang out."

Be respectful
First impressions count, so it's imperative to be on time, well-groomed, polite and in the moment. "What turns me off are people who come directly from work," says Howard Wiseman, who works in management in Montreal. "I guess they won't have the time for other things in life." It's also important to pay attention to your date -- don't glaze over or check out some hottie in the corner. And don't have friends standing by to get you out of a bad situation - it's always an obvious ploy that leaves you looking like a snob and your date feeling.

by Heather Camlot

Here is a simple rule of thumb, do exactly opposite of what she says, and your date will go great or at least 10 times better then her advice. So why did i make this post? to show how clueless dating advice in this day and age, at least in pua community you can get some useful dating advice for the most part, while this garbage is the reason why guys had to turn to pick up community in the first place. Dont you just love how she uses quotes of guys who dont know what the $uck their doing. This advice is so bad, that unless you want guy to fail, it shouldnt be given to anyone.

To give more details: coffee is fantastic date anything more complicated and it looks like you trying too impress (which should never be the case). Two, over dressing is bad because it makes you look like you are trying to hard, and three, be respectful means be pussy, so yes if you trying not to date this girl then be respectful, but if you actually like her then be bold.

Now here is her advice on what to avoid:
Prepare your conversation
How do you get a conversation going when you know nothing about the other person? Ask questions. "What do you do when you're not at work?" "What kinds of food do you like?" "Where was the last place you travelled?" Talk about movies and which one your date hopes to see (you can score a second date by suggesting seeing the movie together another night.) Discuss things you enjoy and can speak positively about. If you feel a lag in the conversation coming, ask an odd, yet telling, question, like "What's the closest you've come to breaking the law?" or "What would you do if you won a million bucks?" suggests Rosenblatt.

Avoid certain topics
One of the biggest no-nos on a first date is talking about relationships past, present or future. The person with you is a potential suitor, not your psychiatrist. "Women who say ‘I've been treated poorly enough times and won't stand for it any longer' are saying ‘someone thought I should be treated badly for some reason, I put up with it because I don't respect myself and I'm going to punish you for what someone else did, now that I'm angry about it,'" says Rosenblatt. "Absolutely no past disclosures on the first date -- you'll have enough time later, if it's absolutely necessary."

Other turn offs include constantly talking about yourself, awkward silences, touchy topics like religion or politics, and forced conversations. Neal McComb, a portfolio manager in Beaconsfield, Que., doesn't remember what he and his wife of five months spoke about on their first date, but he does remember her being easy to talk to. "The fact that we could keep talking effortlessly the whole time made me want to see her again."

Know your body language
Body language says a lot -- folded arms mean you're unapproachable, slouching suggests boredom and fiddling with your hands shows impatience. Send the right signal by making eye contact and by smiling -- two musts on a first date, says Waldman. "I like a woman who likes to smile," he says simply. Smiling not only lights up your face but makes you appear friendly and indicates a positive attitude. Good eye contact shows you're interested in what the other person has to say.

Keep your expectations real
You're going on a date, not walking down the aisle. Think of the experience as meeting a new friend -- if you hit it off, great; if not, no big deal. "Just tease, be playful, mimic his body language oh-so-subtly, and have fun -- if that's your primary goal, you'll succeed for sure," says Rosenblatt. "If you give it more weight, it's too much pressure. Lower expectations, lower disappointment."

Be yourself, turn on the charm and have a great time.

My take: i want to slap her. This is possible worst advice that could have been given, aside from it being compleatly general, it also very damaging for guys. You should note, that while she trying to target men and women with advice, she is clearly biased toward female side, and it shows in the way she give advice that damages guys.

Here is brake down:
1) NEVER, EVER prepare your conversation. EVER.
2) Correct, but her analysis completely off, this is not why you should avoid those topics.
3) Very idiotic analysis, body language matters but not in the way she describes.
4) Wow, she says enjoy the date, and then gives 5 step direction how to do it, which is opposite of fun. It sounds awfully like work. So yes enjoy the date, and remove her "to do list" on how to have fun, and you good to go.

Sad sad sad article.

Check out new website, DatingCoach.net build around meeting and dating, singles, image consulting and such.

Finaly got a chance to watch Dr Phill and Mystery show

2008-04-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well, that was a mess. Mystery guys themselves were BSing out of their ass, here is none verbal clue about that, way too much blinking which is a common sign when someone is lying. They did handle the topic with care however, so it wasn't bad from media stand point, making themselves nice and innocent. "Whats full close?" " we dont teach that". Hahaha, the whole mystery method is build on those 2 words. Or "we dont affiliate with seduction community" , yah guys you right, your company *mystery Method" only the BIGGEST player in seduction industry but hey, no one bothered to tell you that. So even guys who new they need to BS, did that by not confronting the truth.

RJ was something else, he made an ass of himself beyond what i expected. In fact he is so creepy, if you look in the dictionary word "creepy old man" his picture would be there as a definition.

This was exelent example of why seduction/pick up will never go main stream, and only will be humongous underground.

What this show did, not necessary damaged pua at the moment, what it did is provided self incriminating footage when ever anyone wants to bash pick up community. The beauty how they connected pick up and theft was crazy, like WTF. As expected of DR Phill, by his coverage seduction community looks like bunch of creepy liers who steal money. This is pretty much a prelude to the back lash that will follow, in fact this will be giving flames to new wave of feminism and guess what, even men will get on womens side. Yack, if what i am envisioning is true, a suspicion that a guy read any kind of book/material will right away label him as creep. Sadly there is not enough empowerment versions on the market, and a lot more of get laid now material.

This is just too controversial for the media not to pick up and bash it into oblivion, it just so desirable. Few reasons, one: its not politically correct, so it means it must be wrong. two: empowerment sounds nice and sweet, but it doesn't get people riled up as EVIL and DEVIOUS ex: "The Pick up artists, he cons women into sleeping with him, whats next? i wont be surprised if they will compare doing pua stuff to putting drugs into drink." and three: It portrays men as wanting sex, aka easy target. we take this three elements, wrap it in nice saucy package and BOOM, we have trifecta of media favorite topics. Dr.Phill show is just a prelude in my opinion, but it combines all 3 elements i just mentioned, so just multiply his show x100 and you there you have it.

I loved the part in the end when Dr.Phill said "so who wants this seminars?" ( we should note that 95% of audience were women, coincidence? i think not), 3 hands go up and people looking around for approval and looking how others will react. Then he asks, "now who DONT want this seminars" and you can almost feel happy sigh of the audience they know that they been lead this whole show to this one right decision, the whole show was constructed for this one point, EVERYONES hand goes up. Taddahhhh we have a miracle. So if anyone asks, i am dating coach and know nothing about pua thing. pua what?

Amazing intrerview : Online Dating

2008-04-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

He is PHD in psychology and talks about online dating.
I have always supported idea that online dating profile should be detailed, but here is some factual research based information.

Racial effects on dating

2008-04-27T22:56:00.001-07:00

This NY Times article is an interesting one, it analyzed 400 singles at speed dating event and how they were chosen, take a look.

The researchers found that most women speed daters said yes (meaning they’d like to see a man again after the four-minute speed date) less often to men of another race than they did to men of their own race. Here’s how much less interested they were in the other races, as compared with their enthusiasm for men of their own race:

African-American women said yes about 30 percent less often to Hispanic men; about 45 percent less often to white men; about 65 percent less often to Asian men.

White women said yes about 30 percent less often to black or Hispanic men, and about 65 percent less often to Asian men.

Hispanic women said yes about 20 percent less often to black or white men, and 50 percent less often to Asian men.

Asian women didn’t discriminate much by race (except for showing a very slight preference for Asian men over black or Hispanic men).
Link to article.

Online dating vs Face to Face meetings

2008-04-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Really interesting article in New York Times on choosing mates, and logic behind it. I agree with article on many points from an "average" prospective, that all being equal those attributes will matter. Face to face meeting is much better "overall" then online meeting.

Online dating reveals the most exquisite calibrations of the Flaw-O-Matic because the daters fill out questionnaires listing more attributes than could ever fit in a personal ad. They can spend all day finding minute faults in hundreds of potential partners. But that’s also why so many people never make a lasting match.
“When you have all these criteria to consider, and so many people to choose from, you start striving for perfection,” Dr. Ariely says. “You don’t want to settle for someone who’s not ideal in height, age, religion and 45 other dimensions.”
It’s the same problem afflicting New Yorkers: with so many prospects in the big city, they refuse to stop searching.
Customers of online dating services typically end up going out with fewer than 1 percent of the people whose profiles they study online. But something very different happens at a speed-dating event. The average participant makes a match with at least 1 in 10 of the people they meet; some studies have found the average is 2 or 3 out of 10. Women are still pickier than men, and in some speed-dating experiments they still prefer affluent, well-educated men, but the preference is less strong — and in some other studies they don’t discriminate at all by income or social status.
Whole Article Here.

Here is another one of his article on analysis of speed dating and online dating, he is spot on.

Another researcher, Eli J. Finkel of Northwestern University, told me that one of the blog’s readers, Joseph, nicely summarized the problems of online dating. Joseph explained that he’d given up on online dating because he found people started thinking they could place an order for a perfect partner:

But one of the major X-factors (including on more down-to-earth sites like Craigslist) seems to be the anonymity and fantasy that is part of our everyday virtual lives. Both parties in the dating exchange imagine and create alternative realities much more easily than a real-life introduction allows. It may rub avid on-line daters (and bloggers) the wrong way, but especially in the realm of romantic relationships the artifice of virtual communication probably raises more barriers than it breaks down.
Read the rest here.

My own experience of online is a mixed bag, i tend to do well online, but i don't like the amount of effort/time it requires and the amount of power of choice it gives to women, usually much more then to men. It is also very inconsistent so some weeks you might get back to back phone numbers and dates and then have drought of few weeks. Which is not a pleasant experience, so online should be used only as secondary additional way to meet, never as a primary one. Same goes for speed dating, it shouldn't be main way to meet, only as a secondary.

Dating Services Surge in a Busy Age

2008-04-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Interesting article at New York Times take a look:

"
DEBORAH and Leonard, Leigh and John and Sue and Mark met through dating services in Connecticut. Deborah and Leonard are to be married in June; Sue and Mark, in October, Leigh and John were wed a few years ago and now have a toddler.
DEBORAH and Leonard, Leigh and John and Sue and Mark met through dating services in Connecticut. Deborah and Leonard are to be married in June; Sue and Mark, in October, Leigh and John were wed a few years ago and now have a toddler.

Although they all say they had their own reasons for using a dating service, all but Leigh, who runs one, said they never thought they would.

''I never, never dreamed I'd use a dating service,'' said Deborah Morgan, a 30-year-old from Bridgeport, who through Connecticut Black Singles, met Leonard Williams, 38, on St. Valentine's Day 1987. They became engaged on Valentine's Day 1988 and plan to marry this summer. ''But with all the things happening today,'' she said, ''I figured I'd try it out.''

This year thousands of Connecticut singles are using dating services across the state. These services, say clients and those who run the businesses, are no longer for the desperate, the unattractive and the lonely. Growing in membership every year, they draw people who are too busy to look for mates on their own, those who dislike the bar scene and people who fear contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

''Years ago, dating services had a stigma of being for nerdy people,'' said Debbie Mellon, who runs Big Buddies, a dating service for large women and the men who admire them. ''But times have changed and these services are more popular now because people - men and women - are too busy climbing up corporate ladders and many want more serious relationships and are sick of the meat markets.'' Big Buddies, which started out in Stamford nearly two years ago, moved to Manhattan last spring and serves Connecticut, New York and New Jersey. Ms. Mellon said she had 650 active members. " Link here

Now that looks like any other article you might find on the web these days, but there is a kicker it is from 1988. Yes 20 years ago. This is almost word for word could be applied to how people talked about online dating 10 years ago. The match making services slowed down that period, but now match makers are back into full swing as online dating starting to cool off due to impersonality of it. Trends change, and dating coach/pua is the next trend on horizon, even if for its novelty it will top the charts for a bit, and for the service it was created recently but in wont be leaving our society and culture for..... well until guys will stop wanting to meet more women aka never.

DayGame Post:on what to do on the phone when you day time number close

2008-04-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

I will step away from my usual industry observation, and will write what i feel like, and today i feel like writing about number close.

Big difference between night and day time number close, is, day time number in most cases much more quality and it doesn't take more then few minutes to close number. There is very little investment of energy on your part, for a woman it is also unusual setting to give a number, so she will remember you. I have had women remember my name years after i meet them, i might have approached and didnt close a number or what ever, but i had number of times women say ...oh Art , how you been? and i look at them with puzzled look.

You might be wondering, why is day time number better? it simple: unusual circumstance, no alcohol,, no loud music, no competition, and woman is out of her comfort zone. In combination, it creates a very emotional atmosphere, it adds tension and suspense to the interaction.

There is very little you can do on the phone to get a date, if the way you got a number was weak, not good. If you have supplicated, too nice, trying to hard, too eager, this all could have been a reason for week day time number. So dont think about which message you should have left on her answering machine, and concentrate on making sure that when you take number you do it well. So stick the landing, your approach makes or brakes a quality number, not when you call.

In fact, which messages you leave on answering machine makes very little difference, since if a woman was attracted to you, she will make sure to give you a call back even if you talk like a gremlin or pirate into the phone.

If you want more clarification on any certain point, leave a comment and i will clarify.

Pick up Industry: More definition

2008-04-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

I am seeing more countries starting their own lairs, India, China, Canada are among few places that are actively adapting pua communities. Yet, there are no mystery or style in those countries, so they are for now dependent on American role models on what to do. I think in each country, thier own pua star willl arise, example would be UKs juggler who have built a pua "empire" that spans whole United Kingdoms.

I am really not sure where the community will go, but chances are that major player will appear in big countries. Depending on the size of the industry, and amount of people who want pua training.

It seems there needs to be a person who will rally others around him. Mystery done it through his over the top personality, style done it through his writing. Each culture has it differences and the likelihood, the personality of that player will depend on the culture of that country. So in Russia, it would be very unlikely that Mystery would emerge, it would have been someone else who is captivating in its own way. In India, Mystery probably wouldn't have done well too. So it will be interesting to watch, who and how will arise in each country. It depends on the traits and values that are presented in those cultures.

Pua business model in China

2008-04-11T08:01:00.000-07:00

Few days ago i have received an email from a reader who is curently in US but planning going back to china and opening pua business.

As you said, I believe it will just explode at a point in China. Especially, about a month ago, some Chinese guys started this fastseduction.com style web forum. They have claimed to have 1000 registered users as of now.

Because of the Chinese translation limitations, the only materials they are working with are Mystery Method and Neil's The Game book, plus some Taiwanese author's dating advice books. From their response on the forum, they have been very intrigued by Mystery Method and especially his lines and gimmicks. This is understandable as from what I have been reading about their posts, they are relatively newbies. The guys who started this website paoxue.com are relatively inexperienced too. I have been posting on their forum offering advices.

I joined in the game in 2003, when I was still in college as an international student from China. Currently, I live in Washington DC's bar district. But I have been working on this project to enter the Chinese market.

I will be testing out Eben Pagan's marketing model, sales funnel, relationship-building, and moving-the-free-line, etc. But a major concern is the piracy. I have done extensive research on this. Chinese internet users are very used to getting information products for free from some P2P or torrent download sites, or even street vendor selling pirate home-made CDs, ranging from Microsoft Vista to Hollywood new hits.

By far, I have yet to sort out this problem. Another concern I'm not 100% sure that would matter is the Chinese government censorship on materials like this. So far, it's been fine.

There are few aspects that should be taken into consideration, one, how wealthy are people that you will be working with and two, your already mentioned digital distribution model and its vulnerability in P2P market, where one copy sold means a 1000 free. Seeing as you seem to approaching it seriously, i would not spend much time on Ebens pegan marketing model since it is targeted at digital products, and instead if i were you, i would concentrate on seminar and coaching development, which is much harder to steal and also means larger payments per person, so less mass sales. You already have a lot of experience in community, so you are in much better position when you go there to stand out, you are pro compared to most newbies in china, and that gives you serious leverage. So seminar option is certainly a potential for you, since you would be selling yourself and your skills in person, and you dont have to worry about people stealing your skills.
So unless you already have access to thousands of quality mailing list prospects, i would localize your plan, make it more personal, face to face oriented rather then digital and take from there.

New site is out. DatingCoach.Net - its all online dating coaches who cover dating, meeting and image consulting.

2008-04-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

Interesting observation on Yammy Stale Bread, this should be interesting to watch.

An episode of the Dr. Phil Show featuring Ross Jeffries and Savoy from The Mystery Method (Now Love Systems) is airing this Friday, April 11th. Here is a description of the show taken from the Dr. Phil website:

Women beware: Men are on the prowl! Some guys win your heart and dupe you for
thousands of dollars, while other men learn the slick techniques of pick-up
artists so they can get you in the sack! Go inside a classroom where single men
are being taught The Mystery Method -- a step-by-step technique on how to meet,
attract and date beautiful women. The founders say their method teaches guys to
be more confident. When the students hit the bars, will The Mystery Method help
them land a lady? What do the women think of their techniques? Then, meet Ross
Jeffries, the self-proclaimed "Father of Seduction." He says he’s taught
thousands of men to seduce women through language. Now he fears that he’s
created monsters, because many of his followers are seducing woman through
deception, and he says that’s exactly what The Mystery Method is all about. A
heated debate ensues between Ross and the creators of The Mystery Method, Nick
and Scott. Is Ross’ technique actually as benign as he claims? And, Victoria
says she fell in love for the first time with a guy whom who she thought was the
perfect man, until he she says he ended up scamming her out of $100,000. Did
Victoria miss the warning signs? How can she pick up the pieces of her broken
heart and move on? If you’re a lady looking for love but don't want to find
heartache, you won’t want to miss this show!
Article here

My take on this, this will get ugly, DR.Phill is one of the bigest names (if not bigest) in relationship circles. He knows his shit, i dont care how good Savoy of RJ is in re framing, all Phill needs to do is bring out few crying women and how they got ripped off by men, and anything that Savoy or RJ says will be viewed as BS. Good luck with that guys. Besides i think RJs stuff (NLP) is very manipulative, more so then structured routines, so if girl falls for those lines, it might certainly mess her up.

Meaning of what meeting/dating is

2008-04-04T23:55:00.000-07:00

Just got home, 3 am. Its busy day, i finished work at 8 then had a party to attend, going there i got 1 number in subway, then 3 numbers at a party and 1 number on a subway coming back. All girls were cute and fun, yet i am here thinking, what is it that I enjoy. Is numbers, dates is that what i want, because i dont think its true, thats not what i want. Because then there would be no end, numbers/dates never ending circle. Yet, at that party tonight i ran into a friend of mine from way back from the NY LAIR, and he was still doing his spiel, sarging girls. Is sarging what matters? No, sarging doesn't mean shit.

I dont approach girl for approaching sake, i approach because its fun. But.... i am tired, i am ready to step away, i feel like i have achieved what i wanted in meeting/dating worls, i know i will always have dates/girls but .... i dont want to define this of who i am, and i have been able to avoid this trap. It seems lots of puas define themselves of how many girls they can sleep with, and how many they can sleep with in the future.
it is just shallow, at certain point numbers dont matter, in fact numbers don't matter much at all at any point.

I am actually wouldn't want to know what goes in heads of most Mpuas, it could be just sad to see. Sorry if you a mpua, but this kind of lifestyle is crap, shallow and means nothing.

I broke off with my GF a month ago, and i thought i will enjoy going free and wild. Well, i kinda am, but at some point i keep thinking, is this who i am ? is this what i want? and the answer is no and no. Whats next? I dont know what will be next, but i know that i want to make sure that guys dont go by pua lines and life style, but rather develop their personalities, think on a spot and above all, have fun meeting and dating and not be some kind of social robots.

Pick up community direction

2008-03-30T19:24:00.001-07:00

As i was expecting, other things have caught up on my free time. So better late then never.

No big news at the moment, dust seems to have settled for the time being . The exitment over pick up artist show, and Styles follow up book to the game are fading. I am estimating that once second season of pick up artsit comes out, it will be a much bigger affect on the meeting/dating dynamics. Since first season came out and took many people by surprise, the second season will be highly anticipated so we can expect 3rd and 4th after that. This also results in chain effect, i know for fact that there are at least 2 complete documentaries of professional production level done about pick up community ready to be released right now. As as soon as big wigs and guys with money see the amount of people and interest the VH1 show is getting, they are very likely to turn to already made documentaries and buy them off the makers hands.

To elaborate more on dating dynamic i have to give example of New York, where if you go to bar or club you are almost assured to run into guys who are using routines. This will happen more, as more media publicizes the industry, and more guys discover the game. There is other side of the coin, girls will be much more aware of what to look for, and don't mean just specific routines or the structure of routines, but the look and attitude of Pua's as well. I am not sure what it will result in, but i am guessing much less ONS for those aspiring pick up guys, and more follow ups, calls, phone game, etc. Simply because some stuff working right now, doesn't mean it will work later, Darwinian principle is simple, girls will spot that there is a problem or something is not right.

Inner game will matter more then ever though, confidence and other elements, which are still the king right now, but it will become even more so as specific tricks and routines will stop working. This is becoming ever evolving industry. To compare: As better locks and security measures are developed on bank safe's , the more complex and elaborate becomes robbers to open it. So as Puas materials become abundant, more women will be able to spot their use, so more elaborate newer stuff will come out. Of course a guy can just develop his personality and convey it, but it's a hard work, so most will opt out for the newest shiniest routine available on the market.

Pick up artst 2

2008-03-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

Lookie what i got in my email today:

"

We we wondering if your group could help us? We are casting a
reality TV show "THE PICKUP ARTIST"for VH1 and we are looking
for real single men in NYC area. Thanks for any help you can
give us!

THE MYSTERY IS BACK!
and looking for YOU!

IMPOSSIBLE CASTING
IS NOW CASTING THE PICKUP ARTIST SEASON 2 IN NYC!
"

Interesting, so i guess they scraped DC. I wonder why?
Well this certainly will thrust community into spotlight, as well as new york itself.

Crisis of Sarging

2008-03-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

When too much sarging is too much? How long one can keep up 25 approaches every day for a 3 month? How many who keep it up, will be calibrated in social interactions and how many will be come social robots? Does age makes a difference?

This is a recent thoughts that came to my mind. I have seen too many "do 1000 approaches" and you will be golden promises. Do they deliver? I highly doubt it.

From what i have seen it is better to do 5 quality approaches and think back on what happened, then do 25 in machine gone sequence. If you don't learn from an approach, then you are wasting your time by "blind Experience". One way to burn out yourself, and potentially damage yourself emotionally is to do 25 approaches for 3 month every day. I have worked with guys who have done something similar prior to coming to me, and they are a tough cookies to crack. Emotionally they are still as vulnerable, but they were trained to kill the emotional, dont feel it. Which i think is one of the stupidest advices possible.

While you want to do approaches and overcome anxiety, killing and decensetising feeling of conversation, vibe and fun is one of the worst aspects that pick up community teaches. Another aspect is age, if you are over 30 you probably have already developed your personality and want something that feels natural and congruent with you, that helps you meet women. If you are 18-20 somethings, then you have yet to see the world, your personality is still developing. Then BOOM, routines come, they are not congruent with you, but since you want to get laid, you will use anything. After few years we got the 18s-20 a social robot, who has a lot of his values based on foreign pua material. By not means this will be everyone nor even majority, but even if it is between 20-40% of young guys, then how it will affect them down the line is still a mystery. But the effects are very likely will not be positive. So how the material and community affects people a lot depends on age.

I personally don't use routines, but even so, i am very attuned to social interactions which is not a plus if you want to have pure enjoyment and fun. I don't want to understand which stage, element of interaction i am in, i just want to have fun. I noticed that the more i teach, the less i can help of not noticing interaction stages and just having fun. It took me a while to reach this point, but i think i am getting burn out.
One of the reasons i will be stepping away from coaching day game (probably forever ) in next month or so, and train some guys to do it for me.

The Pick UP Artist Season 2 is confirmed

2008-03-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

VH1's "The Pick Up Artist" Season 2 is finally confirmed

Season 2 of VH1's "The Pick Up Artist" with Mystery is finally confirmed and you won't believe what city it might be filmed in!

PS: From what i know it will be in Washington DC.

Why being PUA can be very bad for a guy

2008-03-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

Pick up Artist, ahh sounds so glamorous, so attractive, so seducing. " I can get all the girls i want" one will shout from the roof tops. Yet, it is often forgotten that getting laid is not equivalent to having fun. The poing of meeting women is to enjoying interaction and see if you guys click, yet the more i see guys who do to much pua materials, the less is see it as the case, the more it scares me to where this is heading. They ask about routines, about techniques, often times not related at all to their personality.
Here is a post i got from one of my Wingmen group members to whom i have stated that having routines are not healthy and can damage person in a long run.

I was being somewhat disingenuous when I said day game is
simply about lowering energy levels. Yes, that's one part of
it, but converting the structure and tactics of night game to
day game is simple (presupposing one understands the
underlining implications of the tactics/structure). For
example, I find the best opener in day game is what I call the
"joint conspiracy" opener. That's when I'll try to establish
some "us v. them" dynamic with me and the girl. For example,
sometimes in Grand Central I'll open by telling some girl to
push through the crowd for me. If she laughs (usually they do),
I'll go on to tell her how she can be my new bodyguard blah
blah. For me, it's all related to frames and "roles". This is
true of any PU situation, but especially in day game. In every
social situation, people are quickly looking to put people in a
"role" and treat them accordingly. In a bar situation, if a
girl senses a guy's trying to pick her up off the opener, she
immediately flips on her "bitch" role to blow him out. Applying
this to day game, I'm trying to sidestep the girl placing me in
a "role" such as the "creepy guy", "guy trying to sell
something", "guy trying to pick up girls", etc. In fact, I
think the most important thing about opening and getting
attraction in day game is simply offering value (i.e. humor,
making her smile, being interesting) and making her unsure
where the interaction is headed and what "role" she should put
you in. There's much more to my day game theory, but this is
what I've found works for me and I've had a lot of success in
day game.

Finally, re: routines, I whole-heartedly disagree. Every guy
I've met who relies on "natural game" gets very inconstant
results. I agree that creating a fun vibe is key, which is
exactly why routines work. When I say "routine" I'm not
referring to "the best friend test" or something someone else
wrote; I'm referring to stories and role plays that I wrote for
myself that quickly convey my personality and values. I find
even guys who claim they rely on "natural game" repeat a lot of
the same lines and stories (but, since they made those lines
and stories up, they don't feel they're using "routines"). Even
AFCs rely on routines with the whole, "Hi, what's your name?
Where are you from" approach. In my opinion, everything's
scripted so it's better to be running off a script you KNOW is
effective and gives value rather than try to piece it together
on the spot.

Here is my answer to his post.

Not a bad take on day time meeting, still way to structured then it should be, the more you structure it, the less fun it becomes. Consistent results, there are no such thing, in this life, there is very little consistency in anything. Even job security almost doesn't exist anymore. You have not met good naturals then, because i know a number of guys who can meet women most of the time, and they not relying on routines. i think you missing major point, because "creating vibe" is artificial, you can vibe and click on personality but then its natural, there is no "creation" part, learning to convey personality and creating vibe is 2 different things. I think your opinion is wrong that everything is scripted, drop the scripts and interactions become a lot more fun and natural.

While certain aspects are certainly can be slightly scripted (where you from? aka natural conversation) doing to much routines is good way to stifle creativity (aka not having fun, and not "creating vibe", creating vibe not equal fun.), that includes pre written you own natural stories when they are used to much. I would strongly suggest you giving it a shot without routines , you seem to measure to much effectives in getting laid, and not actually enjoying whole interaction. Thats why PU community can be a bad thing.

If this kind of mind set continues, the mind set that is currently prevalent in pick up community, we are heading for crisis. THIS IS MAJOR. It will be a crisis of guys who run around like social robots, not enjoying the interactions, not having fun, all for one goal of getting laid. Once you get on that train, its very hard to get off of it, and the longer guy stays on it, the more ingrained it becomes. Even as someone who followed natural road without relying on scripted materials, i still found myself at some point in a cycle of just getting laid and not enjoying intereaction. Thats when i had to back track, and say, "something is not right" i am no longer happy with what i am doing. It took me a while to strike balance, and yes now i often walk away from sex, just because i am not enjoy conversation, even if the girl attracted to me.

I am hoping i am wrong and less guys like that will be, but if community will grow at the rate it is growing right now, more guys will be joining this mind set. It can become brain washing, the cult of pussy, so as you learn and read material, keep in mind what is important to you, and why you are doing it. Dont find anyones advice blindly, see if its true to you and then act.

I got heads up on VH1 Season 2 of pick up artist

2008-03-08T21:48:00.000-08:00

At our wingmen meeting today, few guys have mentioned that mystery is getting ready for releasing season 2 of Pick Up Artists (filming in DC). While i am not surprised that they making it, this will certainly speed up spread out of the community to the masses. As you can see they can still film without mystery being too recognizable. To draw a comparison, when Borat came out, Sasha Baron Coven was unable to film second movie, just because he was recognized everywhere.

Counter Feminism ?

2008-03-08T07:49:00.000-08:00

I stumbled on this blog by chance, an interesting read and interesting perspective:

As we never tire of saying, certain things may be predicted. Men as a group have felt the revolutionary impact of the women's movement over the last forty-odd years, and it would be predictable that male behavior on average would show evidence of this. The opposite - that male behavior on average would show NO evidence of this - would not be predictable.

Continued unchecked growth of feminist plans and policies - in the form of perpetual revolution - will predictably force a growth of dysfunctional behavior among the male population at large. The dysfunctionality will take many forms, only some of which can be directly traced to feminist influence, with the bulk of it owing to secondary environmental pressures which feminist innovation has originally set in motion.

Eventually, the growth of perpetual revolution will culminate in the rise of oppositional forces. How? What forces? The short and simple answer is, that perpetual revolution will force the growth of its own contrary energy - which will eventually take the form of political consciousness among a much larger group of men than at present.

More here

We already have an anti movement rising, PUA community is so far closest we came to introducing change. Lots of guys on subconscious level understand that there is something wrong with dynamics. When i got into dating and meeting many years ago, I understood it, i will rephrase it, I FELT it. I felt that something was wrong, and there was no one who could show me, but i had enough annoyance and anxiety build up in me for not feeling that what was happening was natural. I didn't feel empowered, i felt weak and powerless. It took me years to sort it out. Right now our society doesn't advocate manliness, ruggedness or things that used to be the natural things for thousands of years, what it does advocate is being pussy, being suck up, and impressing. If even go back as littles as 40s-50s we can still encounter a lot of that raw "what man is about" in the media. Not so anymore.

It has been very busy

2008-03-06T23:39:00.000-08:00

We just released new design for New York Dating Coach. No time at all to write on blog, my mind not in it. I will keep up with things on major elements but wont be posting as much as in the past few month.

Summary of state of pua community:

Over all i am not liking where even natural puas are going, because most of them are not really advocating natural style. More like "pseudo" naturals. I think mind set is what is important, not specific technics. Since specific elements are just part of mind set. Sadly i am not seeing enough movement in that direction, i am seeing "naturals" who are not really natural, advocating techinics which are not full filing in the long run. I think i have few aces up my sleeve and if things go alright, i might be able to do something about the growing number of unnatural naturals.

I am alarmed by the state in which current dating coach/ pick up industry exists, there are no standards at the moment at all, and stuff i hear on the inside just making it worse. I don't want to take this crusade of naturals on my shoulders, but i just might have too. I am assured that lack of standards, and "questionable" skill and ability, plus motives of many puas are surely not contributing to the way the media looks at pick up community. Concept of getting laid as end goal, i am just not cool with that. Yet, this seemed to be the concept that majority of puas preach.

I am still not sure how to parley my skills into training program that will get consecutive results while i am not coaching personally, but i might have to figure out something out. As some of you know, i only coach 1on1 with rare exceptions of hosting seminars once in a while. This allows me to see the most basic elements of what meeting/dating is about and how to guide the mind set of person who i am working with, in the right direction.

Amusing movie coming out " The Love Guru"

2008-03-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

I dont think it will affect pua, but i am a fan of mike miers and the movie looks a little too much like Austin powers with Indian theme. It still underlines the love/dating experts publicity, media finds topic interesting, and it will milk it for a while. So Pua/Dating Coach or anything else related to dating topics, will be the next American idol by popularity. It is still a touchy topic for most people, but as we enter technology/knowledge era more and more, we will see the topic of dating instructors less tabu. Moving away from the notion, that dating skills are inate, and you either have them or you dont, and moving toward idea that dating skills is part of the personality, and hence can be developed just as any skill.

Readers comment. discussion.

2008-02-26T10:23:00.000-08:00

I would like to make this into a discussion post. One of our readers, Lixicon has posted his comment with his views on pua and community.

"You know man, I was thinking a lot about this last weekend, and there is one thing that will totally revolutionize the "pickup" business. If you take it, better give me some commission yo!

Anyway, I am a really big fan of the electronics industry. There is such a wide variety of products out there, the main strength of most of their businesses is that of FLEXIBILITY. Sure, there are some companies out there that offer $72K Hi-Fi Speakers, or Plasma TVs that are $5K with amazing pictures, but the companies that always stand out are the ones that can offer products for a WIDE-RANGE of clientale.

This is basically what PUA companies are lacking right now. So far the basic formula in the PUA industry is that when you start getting "successful" as a Guru they keep pushing their prices up and up so that each one of your sales can make you more profit.

But imagine if, for example, Mystery (and I don't use him based on his strength of game which is WHACK!, but more for his name and known recognition) offered SOME sort of program, book, tape, CD, WHATEVER for $30 dollars, and also had one-on-one consultations for $10k, or large group seminars for $250 per person? Or for that matter started putting out a free e-book, or even started doing a prolific Blog just like how his writings used to be in the old mASF days. Even though is what Style wrote about him in the game is true, then the guy will always shoot himself in the foot and never REALLY get his business together.

I just think to myself, "sure there may be 50% of the population of guys out there who KNOW about the Pick-Up community, but how many would actually spend the time, money, and effort to learn the skills?"

Right now it seems like there are just a bunch of companies focusing on one type of product and they just aren't very diverse. Either it's an e-book, or dating coaching, or seminars, or whatever. Even Style who may be the most financially successful PUG still is pretty limited in how wide his product is. Sure he has regular books and a successful website, but how "accessible" is he for real? The books costing 20 & 30 bucks, and the website being $80/month. There's not a whole lot of middle ground there. I dont even know how much his bootcamps/seminars are, but I'm assuming they're at least $1500/person.

And don't even get me started on how their marketing strategies focus on being a PUA, aka (to people who aren't "deserperate" to find a community of guys to relate to about their girl problems, life problems, and their lack of manhood) creepy nerd guys... is completely dumb and self-defeating.

Basically, whoever gives up this whole dumb idea of "community" or "pickup community" and just starts running their company like a business by making it as accessible as possible to EVERYONE will break things really open.

Thats what I think at least.

You bring up a number of good points. There is few problems with flexibility and diversity, one, it requires a lot of time and effort to create it, and in many customized project it takes even more effort to maintain the project. Since marketing budget is limited even for the biggest names like Styles (marketing genius) and Mystery (who, like you said, is bad in business). You can allocate only so much resources to any given project, so the tendency is to concentrate on the most profitable ones. Lets not forget that PUA is still nor an industry, it just getting there. We are in the early stages of development. I also don't think 50% of people know about pick up movement(maybe in colleges, but certainly not 30s+), the bigger the market of people who want the servies will grow, the more servies will be offered. I also think that people should pick their niche, and it is happening more and more. Conquer the campus, the new release by Josh for example, only concentrates on college meeting/dating aspect.

Mystery does offer ebook and expensive seminars, but he had no middle ground. Style has done a brilliant job, he captured middle ground much better then any puas on the market right now. For his subscription he gains 80$ a month, AND he also has access to all those emails, so it very easy to bring those people to his seminars. So he captures low ball market, and middle market (I would assume style life seminars are at least 2k+, since mystery takes 3k , i dont think Style will be far behind especially with his following). He doesn't need to do 1on1s, since it is not scalable. He might offer it in the future, done by his instructors, but i think what he done up to the point could have hardly been done better. So What style done in essence is got people to subscribe aka pay every month on continuous basis and gained access to sell them seminars, all in one project.

Lets take me as an example, i spent a lot of time on the book, but it just too inefficient and income is not great. Coaching is much better in my case. I could write another book, or make some other product, or i can allocate my resources in developing our local coaching business to much greater extent. Since our company has limited resource in terms of money, time and men power, the answer is pretty simple. I know personally of dating coaching company, who tries to do all the things you have mentioned. They doing ok, but far from great, it just too inefficient to be so spread out.

I dont think there is a company in pua industry at the moment that could do all those things that you have mentioned on the large scale, but i wont be surprised if in a few years we will see someone big enough to pull it off.

Interesting trend: Online Dating searches are down, matchmakers search are up

2008-02-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

According to google search trend, since beginning 2008 , amount of search for term match maker jumped by about 3 times. While online dating search continues to drop. Match makers are very similar to pua/dating coach, since it is face to face introduction. Most of them also eighter have dating coach on staff or work as pseudo dating coach. From a number of match maker that i spoke about, it seems that guys want dating advice a lot more then women.

You can see statistics for those search terms here

Online Dating and Texting

2008-02-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

Interesting article. It talks about how texting and online dating changing the way we date.

I am not a fan of online dating, because girls do have an upper hand in it unlike in face to face interaction , so unless you ready to spend hours writing up messages, i would suggest just cut it out all together. Another thing, free online dating sites are crap (except for craigs list, which can be semi alright), so if you are going to do online dating, pony up some cash, it will save you some time.

If you're alone, you're in good company. Some 82 million adults were unmarried in the United States in 2000, or about 40 percent of the population, according to the U.S. Census bureau. The unmarried adult population is projected to reach 106 million by 2010. Here.

Grantsville resident Scott Johnson, 25, said dating has gotten a lot harder in the last couple of years with the online dating and text messaging craze.

"It seems like it's a different generation and it's getting harder to date," he said. "It seems everyone is moving away from one-on-one conversations and being personal."

-----------

Although Burton said guys think they are more at risk when it comes to the rejection factor, it takes a little bravery on both sides to just tell the truth.

"As much guts as it takes for a guy to ask a girl out on a date, it takes just as much courage to say no if I don't really want to go," she said.

Rest of the article

Industry is running

2008-02-22T21:29:00.000-08:00

I have been talking to some of the movers guys in the industry, and it is moving very fast. It seems that many guys dont want to be associated with Pua and Pickup community, well i got one message for those guys, it will happen. I dont like how pua or pickup sounds, but i accept that the movement will develop beyond anything we have seen in dating world. I have mentioned it before and i will mention it again, pua and pick up terms are here to stay. The reason is, this terms define the communty, we can call oourself seduce.... blah and blah, but the bottom line is there is a community that is very large, that associate itself with puas, pick up artists.

We can like it or not like it, but association wont go away because it gives a sense of comradery and fellowship. So to all of those who say pua or pick up terms wont stick, i will say, you are wrong.
I am more then certain that pua/pickup term will still be developed and will be associated with guys who want to improve their meeting/dating women ability. Dating coach refers to profession, and as much as i like the term, it just not something you want to become. PUA on the other hand is what lots of guys want to be, usually younger guys, i am yet to meet an older guy (over 30) who wants to become pua. Yet, it defines meaning of community.
I am expecting in next 2-3 years incredible rise of dating coaches as a brand. Why? because most guys over 30 don't want pua to teach them, they want dating coach personal attention.

So does it sound like i am telling 2 opposite things, well i am, but not really. What we have to understand is the size of the industry, the bigger it is, the more different types of coaches/puas it can hold. So in that sense huge pua community and large dating coach population is natural. Notice i say community, i dont say pua teachers, i think as community it will be growing for a long time. As an example i am full time dating coach, this would be un heard of even five years ago.

~ NewYorkDatingCoach.com

Dating synergy

2008-02-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

Synergies in the dating market. Past 10 years has seen an explosion of online dating, match makers, speed dating, and now new entrant dating coach. Online industry has tried to implement online dating coaching, but up to this moment it has had small and negligible effect. What if online dating industry takes PUA model of hosting seminars in different cities, and bring in dating coaches to those seminars. Not only they will tap a bigger amount and more local people, they can also do so face to face. In away putting a face on their online operation.
Speed Dating, i just wrote an article for speed dating comany in chicago, and you can find that article Here, on right side of the scree, currently ranked #2 , was #1 for a while but Valentine article during Valentines day kicked its ass ;)

There is match making element. Another very new industry that seems to be developing, i am meeting a match maker tomorrow about potential partnership. You might ask why? Well he has a lot of single clients who are no longer clients, and our guys have a lot of expertise in dating coaching world. I am also meeting with a female dating consultant today, whom i am thinking to bring on board t coach women.
So there is a lot of partnerships to be created, there is a lot of creative things that can be done between players. How does it affect pua? More services, more personal learning, i am expecting to see more 1on1 coaching so look in your city, there might be already personal dating coach, just make sure he is good.

~ NewYorkDatingCoach.com

Japan pick up

2008-02-18T15:07:00.000-08:00

Here is article that came out today, about dating coach, he sounds a little too much like Japanes mystery, but interesting read none the less.

"This may seem ridiculous, but if you follow a specific equation, it really works," he says.

One bit of advice Fujita was willing to dish out concerns online dating: It doesn't work, he says.

"If you're not tall and good-looking, or you don't work at a top-rate company, then you can't really score dates on a dating website," he says.

Instead, "Picking up women on the streets is the best method for people who need miracles."

It is spreading all around world, this guy is gimmicky, but there is a need so his services, and i am sure he is greatly appreciated by guys in Japan.

How to Train a Husband

2008-02-17T19:40:00.000-08:00

WOW. I would say fucked up, but i think title speaks for itself.

Want an obedient spouse? A new book says you should coach them like animals.

Sutherland first wrote about her experiment in The New York Times in 2006, where it became the most e-mailed story of the year. This week her book, "What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love and Marriage," comes out, and a movie is in development. Sutherland admits that her ideas are not groundbreaking: in the 1890s Ivan Pavlov experimented with dogs to study stimulus and response. In the 1930s, B. F. Skinner used rats and pigeons to develop his theory of "operant behaviors," the idea that behavior is affected by its consequences. That doesn't mean the strategy is not controversial: critics bristle at the idea that humans are as easily manipulated as dogs or marine mammals, and contend that books such as Sutherland's reinforce war-of-the-sexes stereotypes about women using their feminine wiles to manipulate simple-minded men.

The idea of women training simple men is a well-worn trope of pop culture. In the 1963 film "If a Man Answers," Sandra Dee's mother hands her a canine-training manual with the advice "If you want a perfect marriage, treat your husband like a dog." More recently, the BBC reality show "Bring Your Husband to Heel" featured a professional dog trainer teaching wives how to get their husbands to sit and stay.

While Sutherland claims that animal-training techniques work on both genders, in another new book, "Seducing the Boys Club," Nina DiSesa advocates a gender-specific approach to changing people's behavior. DiSesa, who was the first female chairman of the ad agency McCann Erickson, argues that women should use their femininity to manipulate the men they work with and advance their careers. Instead of criticizing an employee's ad proposal, she flatters him for his "brilliant" idea, then sweetly asks if he had any other inspirations. "Women use these tactics with men all the time," she says. "We're mothers, wives, girlfriends, sisters. We know how to handle men, we just don't do it at work." More here

I really got nothing to say but, go pua, wow. Puas stuff and community is certainly not perfect, but if this kind of books are written, the empowerment of men is the only way to go.

I have have this nagging feeling

2008-02-17T06:17:00.000-08:00

That something wasn't adding up. Since there are only so many good looking/fun girls out there, we can take bell curve and say that 33% of them are 7s and above. Same goes for guys, similare brake it. And those girls and guys would get hitched for the most part 80/20 rule, and the rest would mix with everyone else. You. the way it was since the end of dawn.... That simple....

But something wasn't adding up. I started asking myself, but why then learn how to meet and date.... Thats when it came to me, this is first time in the era of human kind that guys truly have a choice of raising their skill in meeting women, AS a Skill. Before it was potluck of luck, you either have it or you don't, now we have internet that allowed building communities that allowed global sharing of knowledge. So now while still a lot of effort have to be put into learning how to meet and date, NOW guys truly own of whom they will date. Before, you either had it or not.

Similar to what happened to me, when i was sick and tired of not be able to meet and date and spend first year going out and meeting, and i got much better at talking but i had so many gaps to fill in on my own, that if i didnt find community, i would probably run out steam very soon. I actually was winding down in terms of energy, because i didn't see as much progress. The main reason was a mind set that i had at the time, and what i didn't realize that with certain mind set in place, there cant be movement forward.

Yet there is more to it, this new information, new ability to acquire it as a skill, new existence of a SKILL, not a natural ability but a learnable natural ability. Is something we haven't had before. Thats why, i think 30% / 30% structure will be changing. Where 30% of hottest girls are dating 30% of hottest guys. Now it really comes down to acquiring this abilities. It is hard, and many people wont make it, but the best part about it, there is light in the end of the tunnel for many guys, where there was none just few years ago.

Counter Feminist movement? Summary of the blog

2008-02-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

Isn't it interesting to observe this whole mess?

We got different checks and balances. Feminist movement in the 60's and 70's has pushed for a quality, and more or less got more then they expected, with colleges now being 57% women and 43% men. So this removed income power that men have had advantage of for past thousands of years, man is no longer necessary as provider. So what happens next ? Biologically women do have upper hand as choosers so to speak. So women as they gain more income power and still retain their natural ability of upper hand (women do want men psychologically, so this does balance it more, but since men can't provide the psychological "i am the man" feeling, it fall apart, aka more divorces). But certanly the last part is not enough to counter balance it, so women gaining power and guys go "WTF". With online dating scewed more toward women, it becomes even more obvious.

Now Pick-up artists come in, Booom, the Darwing element of counter balance, apperanlty if they feel attracted to you can control themselve (to a certain degree). This starting to balnce the equiation, the dating coaches and pua's are introducing almost lost mind set, why??? because something wasn't right. It is not conincidence that pua and dating coaching businesses are booming, there is a need for it, and clearly unfulfilled as of now.

What happens next, who comes on top?
Well there is no top or bottom, there is just men and women who want to feel someone they like and feel good about them. I dont want to win, i just want girl who i date to be cool person, i dont care for all the BS and polictics above, men want women and women want men. So thats how it was, and how it will be so ultimately things will remain in balance or something once again will feel artificial. Right now lots of puas feel like robots, but thats fine, it balance it out and will shake out some of those guys. Darwin calling out to us, that things will be alright.

Future predictions?

2008-02-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

February 7th: Lee’s attraction-coaching firm, Man Meets Woman, is just one local outfit in what could be a burgeoning industry. In November last year, Lee launched Happy Sexy You, which offers similar services for women. Zan Perrion, a featured player in Neil Strauss’s bestseller The Game, has a mentoring program via phone and some in-person coaching. And three of Lee’s former students have started Lifestyle Transformations, which also offers to help guys get their act together—not just with women, but in all areas of life.

I like the phrase Burgeoning = exploding. The person who was writing this article couldn't be more careful, but also more right, but considering how much negativity dating coach gets in press being careful is understandable.

Here is piece i found most powerful:

The origins of Lifestyle Transformations and Man Meets Woman can be traced back to what insiders call “the community”. In 1995, a loose-knit fraternity of guys began exchanging, mostly over the Internet, strategies for meeting and attracting women. Since the 2005 publication of The Game, which detailed author Strauss’s experiences with the guys who had become superstars of the community, the movement has gone mainstream. Press and TV coverage followed the book’s publication. VH1 gave “Mystery”, an Ontario-raised player featured in The Game, his own reality series, The Pick-Up Artist. And self-styled dating gurus have popped up all over the Net, all with their own promises and techniques to remake and remodel budding Casanovas.

Shit is going to hit the fan. It havent yet, people keep thinking that it has "exploded", when i hear that i smile. The shit haven't hit the fan yet , i know, i see amount of clients i am getting now and i have a feeling it is just a start.

Damn this article if full of gems. Here is another one.

A lot of what they teach is wrong,” Lee says over coffee at a Commercial Drive café. Sitting next to him, in a Christmas-red coat, is Lisa de Lusignan, a coach with Happy Sexy You. as well as her own company, Paradigm Transformations . “It’s shallow,” Lee continues. “They teach tricks, like making them [women] feel like crap or whatever, and they [the students] end up being weird social robots
Remeber Pua Vs Dating coach movement, well this is it.
Understandably—with its boys-playing-soldiers lingo (“sarging”, “targets”, “in the field”)—the seduction community, as it’s come to be known, has gotten something of a bad rap. But Lee says he is one of the good guys, an instructor from the “direct” school, which teaches that the best way to get the girl is through confidence, authenticity, and understanding what is attractive to women. What much of the competition misses, he says, is “the most important thing: the emotional component”.

Oh shut the fuck up, one of the good guys. We all the "good guys" , first of direct school is direct "i like you" approach and he is not direct, second of all thats called natural not direct. For someone who was "so long" hypothetically in community. It is much harder being the good guys, i am the good guy, but no one gives a shit, everyone want to know how to get women, so i have to be good and teach them. He had a point about misconseptions in community, there are too many pua purely pussy minded guys around, but it changing as i have mentioned few posts before. It is really Darwin curve in all its beauty, strongest survives, only now strongest not necessarily need to be strongest, deep pockets will help.
Many of the women who come to her, especially if they’re over 40, feel isolated from dating, she says. She also hears from women in their early 30s. “They usually haven’t found one particular relationship yet and want to change their pattern.” When asked which is the most common pattern, de Lusignan doesn’t hesitate. “Chasing after men who are emotionally unavailable,” she says, “and thinking they [the women] will eventually change them.”

This is natural, good luck changing that, women want guys who aloof and can walk away.

Though not a student of Perrion’s, Tomporowski would agree. Tomporowski’s experience with coaching has helped him in areas of life he never expected. Not only has it helped him romantically, his newfound confidence has given him more authority on the job. He’s also bonded with a lot of new male friends who have gone through the same process.

“It is a challenge and a struggle,” he says. “And it really tests your courage and confidence to throw yourself out there and see if you can get that girl’s number or have a great conversation with her, where before you’d never even approach her.”

Well over all, it is a very good article, surprise surprise it is written by a man. Read the previous article written by a woman, it reeks negativity, like what she trying to say "You have it all already" , fuck off, Thats why women cant teach guys how to date. As a minor reminder, 90% of the dating coaches at the moment are women. Now i would like to see woman teaching a guy to approach, something she never done before.

OMFG She said it

2008-02-16T20:01:00.000-08:00

I will start with a quote:
I had dinner the other night with a man who has a lot working in his favor. He's attractive, has a great job, and has read at least one book since the fourth grade.

But as we waited for dessert, the topic turned to being single - and he fell back upon a stereotype as to why guys had it so much worse. "Women want one thing," he said, leaning across the candlelit table. "Guys with money."

While it is stereotype (money thing), to be honest, in the day and age of internet, guys do have it much worse. Unless you have top notch skills, you going to need to plow trough grinding your teeth and hopeing for the best. Fuck, when i started out i had it BAD. I couldnt approach, i couldnt talk to a girl, it felt like i had no balls. If we talking natural vs learned right now there is about 20% natural/ and 80% nice guys. This is 20/80 rule, that aplies to anything. Those 20% of the guys have 80% of sex with hot girls.

Here is another exerpt from the article (which written by woman btw):

Rules of the Game By Neil Strauss

This isn't Strauss' first foray into dating books. His first, The Game, has become the modern player's bible, and the basis for the VH1 show The Pick-Up Artist. Rules of the Game is a detailed 30-day plan to get a date in a month - not a relationship, not sex (though the goal is to increase the quantity and quality of women you see naked), but just a date.

Highlight: "Always have something better to do than meeting women. As soon as you start staring at, evaluating, or ogling a woman in front of you, even if she can't see you, you've just lost every woman behind you." Especially at the gym. She might not see you watching her do squats, but the rest of us can.

Lowlight: "Buy a necklace, rings, a bracelet, a wrist cuff, or any other tasteful accouterment." See People magazine comment above.

First of all, some peackoking does help, so making it sound like its a bad thing is not very smart. Neil gives great advies, be doing something else, if you approaching for the sake of approaching you are fucked in a long run. you would think she would know where to stop, but noooo, she goes on.

Unfortunately, I didn't glean much that I could take back to my dinner companion, except this rebuttal from Tariq Nasheed, author of The Mack Within (a book that advocates quality over quantity, and honesty above all else):

"Mackin' starts in the mind. . . . it doesn't start when you buy some new rims, a Rolex, or an Escalade. If you need material things to make you feel like a mack, what will happen if you lose those things?" Link to article

This is worst example of giving example of mind set. While i dont disagree with it, since it all starts from mind set, why de fuck is street lingo? does quoting a black slang guy makes it sound all better?

This should give you a glimpse at how pick up will be seen, and yes dating coaches will get more love since people have to go to someone to get help from all this BS.

Changes in how we approach sex

2008-02-16T11:38:00.000-08:00

An interesting read, it shows how our dating and sex habits are affected by change in technology.

Annual Love and Sex survey

It seems our societal perception of sex / managomy and other sexual elements are chaining.Welcome to NOW's seventh annual Love & Sex Guide, where we parse and present the most intimate details of how we live and love ourselves and others. Thank you to the 5,895 people who answered the call to respond to our questionnaire. You share in presenting this special issue. Your willingness to open up makes it possible to tell this fascinating story of who we are.And it is quite a story. Together, we're all kinds of people, yet we all strangely fit together, too, forming eye-opening and unexpected patterns of experience. But be sure of one thing: we're almost always either hot or loving, and often enough we're both.

This year's results are shouting loud about some big changes in the way we see our own sex preferences and identity. Over these six years, we've been defined by our consistency. How often we make love, how frequently we pleasure ourselves and most of all who we love to love have remained almost the same from year to year.

This year's results are different. They show that as a group, we're in the midst of a rising tide of sexual fluidity.

Many more are ticking off the box that offers both sexes when it comes to sexual preference. And for the first time ever, the number of men who are bisexual is now larger than those who only like the same sex. That's a sea change, and it's redefining many things, including the very meaning of "straight."

Article

Things are too quiet in community

2008-02-15T16:32:00.001-08:00

All quiet in pua news community. Too quiet.
In local news. My company opening office in Manhattan . I just had a talk with a someone with similar undertaking and my look on pua and dating coaching. The split becoming clear, to those who dont remember here is a link to my past post about how pick up and dating coaching culture will grow apart, we talking about some kind of future partnership. I also had some news on local NY pua organization opening different branches in other countries. I think thats a bit too over reaching of a goal, too hard to control such expansion, but will see what happens. As I am looking at this all happening in pua community from birds eye view as well as hands on and i must say, it is like looking at bubbling volcano, that is yet to erupt but its sooo close.

New Pick up movie coming out in May

2008-02-14T13:07:00.000-08:00

Let the Game Begin

It will be released May 14th 2008.
Budget $2,500,000 (estimated)

Not a block buster budget, but will be interesting to watch what will happen with it. Due to pick up community being very controversial topic, i will be expecting a lot more movies to follow. To note, this not Styles movie, that one will probably have much larger budget. Zon Perion a relatively big name in pua world, will be playing main character.

Nice Guys, who are they, and why are they here?

2008-02-10T14:55:00.000-08:00

Media, equality, nature.

I spoke to my friend yesterday, who is in his 60s. I asked him, what was like dating back in the 60s, how were things? What is happening?

He told me some interesting tales. For example, his grand mother wasnt allowed to work because it would show that her husband cant provide. Even his mother, when wanted to work, father also felt that it would show to people that he cant provide. Women working would show weakness in the family.

He still in the dating world, and he is in social profession, and he said the a lot more guys seems to be losing balls. Balance is off.

Think of the old movies, where the would be real drama real tension, gone with a wing "Frankly dear, i don't give a damn". Maltese falcon, and most of the 30s,40s,50s, movies. There was real friction, people would walk away, it wasnt always predictable fall in love and happily ever after. Ahhh, ROUGH passion, true feeling, men were men. WTF has happened?

Whats movies like now: I like her a lot but she doesn't like me, i got to get her attention (insert the hoops), jump, jump, jump, oh now she loves me, oh no, she met womeone else (more hoops), got to win over..... WON. WTF???????? How did you win? you just lost, lost all your balls. There is no guts, no "Frankly i dont give a damn" nothing.

Now guy watch this new movie, and what kind of ideas do you think it gives him? He thinks
" Yah, i got to jump hoops, OPA OPA, dance doggy dance. " Then question comes up, why doesn't she like that? i got to jump more hoops "OPA, Ole, hoop hoop , jump, jump".

Makes me sick to my stomach, because i was in the same shoes years ago, and i felt miserable. I didn't feel like it was natural, i felt that something off, i wasn't having fun and i didn't know where to look, or what to do. I had to blindly rush forward just to feel liberated.

"Home Boys" are not that cool

2008-02-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

Interesting article on guys from Taiwan, China,Hong Kong, Japan who spend so much time playing computer games, that it essentially destroys their dating skills and then they feel angry at women. Not exactly right way to go.

I personaly can relate to it, since my brother is essentially similar to this home boys, and the bad part,i cant change his "home boy"behavior, and slowly his behavior is changing, since if person doesn't want your help, you cant force it on him, but once more open to help, change is much easier. I took him out few times to parties, i showed him how to get numbers, showed him day game, bring him to my seminars, and it seems finally to start getting trough. It is hard to undo years of conditioning, thats for sure.
This is how internet is shaping our social interactions, and changing it. We are in the new realm of dating, with new rules .

Here is the article

"It's not so much that they hate women, the young men say; it's just that women ignore, reject or betray them. And rather than pining away in private, they prefer to gather electronically with fellow sufferers and bind their wounds by talking about anything except the hurtful side of love.

"The more a nice guy tries to act positively, the more he gets turned away," wrote one man who identified himself as Hsuan in a popular anti-couple chat room.

Many of the chat room denizens reject the idea that they are socially awkward, blaming their lack of domestic compatibility on women.

Said one who identified himself only as Klowa: "More so than politicians, women are swindlers among swindlers. They will cheat you of your money and time, or worse, steal from several men at the same time." More here

Local sample of PUAs

2008-02-08T15:49:00.000-08:00

Last night i was teaching seminar on "meeting women anywhere" for Learning Annex (skill based magazine that offers seminars), i have done a number of seminars for them in the past year. Normally the crowd is unfamiliar with PUA concept, but every seminar i ask, how many of you have read pick up materials? and out of 15-20 people, maybe 2-3 will raise hand. Last night i got about 60% raised hands. And one guys actually pulled out a copy of "The Game" to show to the uninitiated ones what it is all about.
On its own it could have been just a coincidence, but still felt a bit unusual that more then half knew about pua community. At the seminar, guys were ready to learn and make changes to their approach, because they were frustrated with not knowing what to do. Range went from early 30s to early 50s.

One of my readers brought up a point recently, that guys dont stick around the community, they move on to better pastures. I find this misleading, i think guys do stick with community, might be on their own, but they will be looking for new information and hoping that some better material will come along that will help them (a bit like magic). They might not comes to lair meetings or send emails, but they are watching. There is really one and only reason for it, There are NO better pastures. They either learn to meet and date women or they don't. Its not about leaving, because there is no where to go. Guys might lay low for a while, until the next bad date or girl misbehaving, and then they will make the next foray into the pua world, to find material or coaching appropriate for them. What we have is industry that CANT go away. Period. There is a need for it, and i might agree or disagree with specific tactics or mind sets of puas, but overall i think it is like a breath of fresh air, in the dating world where nice guys are treated like shit, and worst part, those guys don't know why it happens.

The reason why i think pua community will be huge is pure and simple: Biology, you either learn to date or you don't, and sure some will give up completely. But most will want to do something about the issue of dating. Guy might get out of dating world for few years, but he will be back, because you cant fight nature. We got genes, and there are 4 things we need for survival: Food, Shelter, Health, Sex. Show me one guy who says that he doesn't need sex, and i will show you one liar. If we do get sex, then we want to get sex with better quality women.
Thats why guys don't leave community, they might get away from it from a while, but they wont leave it.

Recent example: Few month ago i got a phone call. I picked up and voice on the other line says, can i speak to Art? It turns out he was one of my clients from 3 years ago and he found happy relationship for few years, but now back on the market and he have encountered some block in meeting/dating, that he wanted the help with.

NewYork

Online Dating: Oposite views

2008-02-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a mans perspective on online dating:

"

My complaint about online dating is that it mirrors real life exactly!
In my opinion the "romance world" is controlled by women. They do the selecting. In any bar or other "singles' scene there are many men competing for the attentions of just a few women. It is the same on the "dating" sites. I have seen it many times, esp. on the "cam-chat" sites. there will be 60 or 70 men clamoring for the attention of one or two women. It is based on looks. Personality comes in second at best. So, since the internet is primarily a male dominated medium, the few women there have all the choice. After all, if you,as a man, went to a place to meet women..and there were two women for every 70 men, would you continue to go there? I doubt it!

Richard, Columbus, Georgia "

Sorry,been there and done that. I spent 2 years on online dating. Saw over 6000 profiles. Emailed over 3000.Had only 10% of my emails answered.Talked to over 150 in emails and phone. Went out with about 50. Got rejected close to 90% of the time.I rejected about 85% because of antidepressants and their drug use.Found of the other 10% were just plain nuts and man haters. I went to the Philippines and found the love of my life there. And she does not care what I look like. Just so long as I treat her good. ( which I do,I spoil her-she is 48,never married and a virgin,Im 50 and married once with no children.) Its not about looks or how much money you have or what fancy car you drive. Its about life and how you are treated-AND RESPECTED.How can you ask for a man to respect you when you dont even respect yourselves!? I was so tired of women trying to be men and the attitudes of women in US.Thats why I went out of the country to find a wife. Women in the US-WAKE UP!"

" I'm a 44 year old guy, and I've been to an average of one speed dating event every 45 days for the last 2 and a half years. Of those 20 events I've gone to, not one whiff of a second date. I haven't gone to match, perfect match or yahoo personals, but if I didn't have any luck face-to-face, then why would I waste even more money with any of those outfits? Sometimes the one just isn't out there, no matter how hard or how long you look.

About to give up hope, SE Pennsylvania "

and Here is womens perspective:

I found that online dating just let me get my feet wet back into the dating world after a tough break-up. It was nice to get emails every day and it really boosted me back into the dating world. It just so happens that three months after I started online dating, I met the man of my dreams--at a concert! We didn't even meet online. But I do attribute the online dating to getting my dating juices flowing so that I was able to meet this wonderful man.

(Sent Feb 14, 2007 9:23:38 AM)

I have done online dating off/on for almost 2 years. I have had more dates in those 2 years than in 25 years. However, I have also met my share of players and men who were not serious about finding someone long-term. Read some of the chat boards online about dating and you'll find that many men misrepresent themselves to women and I'm sure women do the same things. I have met more men that I was interested in than not interested in online. But, I have taken breaks from online dating just because I was burned so badly. Men lead women on just as badly (or worse) from online dating than in real life dating because they feel safer--fewer repercussions. I have had a number of really good first dates only to never have a second date later. This last guy I was interested in called me almost daily for 2 months after our first date but now has "ghosted" on me. He apparently wanted a phone friend more than a woman in his life. Oh, and "he" also claimed to be a Christian, so that means little to me if their actions say otherwise. Bottom line, if a man is not emotionally available, if he's married, or only separated, he need not put his profile online. Those are the men who hurt women. No one needs games.

Paula, St. Louis MO "

Here is my take on it:
Women have a lot more say online. Unless she is not ok looking (i didnt even say good, she just have to look good enough and she will get enough takers) women have more choice then before now. It goes opposite for the guys, I think a mans post pretty much describes the current state of dating for an average guy, a bitter and frustrating experience.
Both women posts, while one more positive then the other, still says same thing, "Choice, Choice, Choice". Do you think guys like that kind of choices: being bitter and frustrated? or just dont date? I will put my money on "Not". What can they do? up to 2000s , NOTHING would be a good word. Now they are offered alternative , what is it? pua community could be the right answer. It is not an accident that PUA community has been exploding, after emerging from the underground. I will say it over and over again, the size of pua community will be immense. My previous post puts an the estimation of the size of it.

Here are some More info on online dating:

Men make up most of the clientèle, providing 70 percent of the revenue on Lavalife alone.

Women - especially those whose pictures depict them as pretty - get bombarded with messages. Many just reply to the ones that intrigue them. Some make steep demands on potential dates.

Duininick, whose profile shows that he earns over $ 250,000 per year, said he e-mailed an attractive woman on Match.com recently and invited her to lunch.

"She wrote back, said she wanted to go to Le Bernardin," an indignant Duininick growled, referring to one of Manhattan's most expensive restaurants. He told her to forget it. "I don't want to be taken to the cleaners.

Sheffield, whose heart suffered the sting of a pair of fickle dates, has passed her hurt to others, especially since she began steadily dating a man she calls "number 19," a bass player from Long Island.

Last week, number 19 took her for a motorcycle ride.

Sheffield massaged his shoulders during pauses at traffic lights.

But she still gets e-mail from her ad on Yahoo! Personals, and has been coaxed into a few dates. Sheffield tells new men that she's almost ready to remove her Yahoo! profile. They'd have to be pretty special to lure her away from number 19.

"I'm not off the market yet," she said. "But I'm like a house for sale. I'm under contract."

Hearing this, Sheffield said one man she dated grew wistful and told her, "I went outside and wished upon a star. I wished I was number 19."

Long look into the future

2008-02-07T07:13:00.000-08:00

This is purely musing of mine.

To define pua in my understanding, it is someone who actively follows certain principles. He might or not might be active in pick up community, but he is trying to apply its elements to improve his meeting and dating life.

So lets take hypothetical : What if instead of 2-4 million pua right now in USA, we had 20-40 million. What would be different? How things would be different?

It seems unlikely, doesn't it? such a large number. Remember when people said online dating is shady, here are some numbers, and info.
"
Research and Markets report shows that the growth of the online dating industry is slowing down after experiencing record growth of 73% in 2002 and 77% in 2003. Growth of the online dating industry slowed to only 19% in 2004 and is expected to drop to 9% growth this year. According to the report:

A 2003 report by comScore Networks stated that 40 million Americans had visited an online dating site.

As the Righteous Brothers might say, you've lost that loving feeling -- for online dating.

Would-be Valentines are now apparently looking for love in other places. Only 10 percent of Net users questioned in a recent survey said they had recently browsed online personals, compared to 20 percent in 2003. And the decline seems to be quickening. Last year, the figure was 16 percent.

It seems that what was once an alternative to the tired meat-market bar scene has seemingly become a tired virtual meat market. "

It should be noted that, online dating is much easier then going out and meeting women. But then again, it doesnt have that promise of transformation that PUA material holds. I say promise, because it wont help everyone, nor even most. Just some. We not talking "magic bullet" here, which is not accidentally Mysteries books name. But many people see pua as magic pill, that ones taken will catapult you to seducer status with women. Sex is great motivator to improve, and as people get disenchanted with online (and many are), more moving to try different thing. Pick up tactics is in a way of a modern magic bullet, and many puas who has material, do hawking it as such. Their approach to that = if it sells, why stop.
"Get any women NOW", " Seduce anyone, even your own pussy", "Get women NOW". Sounds familiar?

Some more on online dating as a comparison:

Just four short years ago, online dating seemed to be the Internet's new killer app, ready to take its place along with e-mail, eBay and Web browsing. It was one of the few dependably profitable electronic commerce categories. It had remarkably low overhead -- consumers voluntarily provided all the content (pictures), and all the merchandise (themselves). The sites just siphoned off a monthly fee. And buyers had the strongest motivation of all: Mother Nature.
Yet the sites appear to have reached their "natural limit," according to Elliot. In other words, they've topped out on the number of people who are willing to tolerate constant e-mail come-ons from supposed Russian brides. Professional con artists are everywhere online, so common that over 1,000 scammed online lovers regularly participate in the “RomanceScams” group on Yahoo.

Read more on this here.

What is natural limit for PUA communities all over the world? Who knows, but all i know, we haven't even started scratching it.

Interesting video of Neil Strauss on Tom Green show

2008-02-05T21:18:00.000-08:00

I found this interesting video, over all pretty cool, you can just skip first half of it, Tom Green just running around doing his crazy thing. Yet, in second part Neil Strauss talks of some tactics you are probably familiar with if you are in pua community, but here is interesting thing, around minute 33:30 of the tape, he mentions that some guy approached him, and told him that there is whole bunch of lairs in india popping up. Interesting? I think so. Surprising? No, if you've been following my blog.
Video

Movie "The Game" .... in the making already

2008-02-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

When Hitch came out, Dating coach as profession was pushed into spotlight. I didnt like the movie, but i couldn't argue with the triple amount of clients that came after movie release. In fact, since then it became much easier to explain what i do, people say "ahhh so you are like Hitch". Hitch has created a picture in peoples minds, about what dating coach does. Before that time, i had to explain long and hard to each client what it was that our company did, and still it held little legitimacy. When "The Game" book came out, same happened again, spike of clients and we got more recognition for being dating coach. This days I no longer need to explain what it is that we do, it seems most people have some idea of what dating coach does, hard to believe that 3 years ago most people had no idea that such thing as "dating coach" existed.

Last summer it was "The Pick up artist" VH1 show, that caused largest amount of people of asking for our coaching information. Then there is word of mouth, a lot of people heard from a friend about dating coaches or pick up and wanted to see for themselves what is it all about. As more people know about it, more people will tell their friends. It seems every time there is some big event, a much greater recognition sweeps over people. Most people still don't know about Pick up community, but each time big events happen, more and more people are aware of its existence.
Here is news on new movie "The Game"

Movies News
Spyglass pickup film rights to Neil Strauss' 'The Game'
By M&C
Aug 23, 2007, 12:19 GMT

Spyglass has acquired film rights to Neil Strauss' dating novel 'The Game.'

According to The Hollywood Reporter Dan Weiss will adapt the book.

In the book Neil Strauss, the bestselling author, spends two years living among men who trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women.

On his journey from AFC (average frustrated chump) to PUA (pick-up artist) to PUG (pick-up guru), Strauss not only shares scores of original seduction techniques but also has unforgettable encounters with the likes of Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Heidi Fleiss, and Courtney Love.

If "The Game" movie will be publicized anything like Hitch move was, expect pua community to double, if not triple over night (right now USA pua population is in 2-4 million range in my estimation). Its not for everyone but many people will try pua materials or will look up pua information, just to see if its really true. What pick up community lacks at the moments is awareness of people, most people still don't know it exists (which is good for most puas) because ones it is all come out to the public in force and not fragmented releases (The game, Vh1 show), rules will change. Rules of conduct, of training, of business, even now there is nothing set in stone, but when it hits general population, BOOM---explosion.

"The Game" book and Vh1 show, have targeted very small size of population, the reach to this day is younger guys, at the moment 20 somethings is the biggest part of pua population. I would estimate thatt about 70-80% of pua is under 30, by looking at my groups and community info.
What "The Game" movie will do, is bring the eyes of older audience into pick up community. Since the movie about Style, and he has started his journey of self improvment at age 32 (as far as it is known about his real age). People who couldn't associate themselves with young PUAs on VH1, will be able to associate themselves much easier with someone closer to their own age, and will want to see what the pick up community is all about.

China: next pua frontier?

2008-02-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

In china there is 1060 men for 1000 women. Might seem small but compare it to Europe 1050 women for 1000 men. It is a reverse ratio, this is mostly because in china you can have only one child (or you have to pay a lot of money to get license for second), and it considered to have more honorable to have male child, so they might kill new born baby girl to get another shot at male boy.

Here is another news about China.

Ok so the latest stats from the Chinese governemt states that the number of Internet users in China has hit the 210m mark, if this figure is accurate that’s a massive rise of 50% on the previous years figures and more than 3 times the number for India. On current trends China will surpass America (the current highest Internet access country in the world) within months.

If you have been following my blog, i have already discussed how internet contributed aka totally created PUA community. With 50% growth in one year in internet usage and men outnumbering women, China is RIPE for pua community, in fact my predictions are, in china PUA community will be biggest in the world in 3-5 years. With 1.5 billion population, and 750,000 million of it is men, and 325,000 million is single men (i go by relatively accurate 50%,50%,50% estimation) and with less women for those men, guys will be looking for any edge they can get over competition. So we are looking at huge penetration of pua community.

PUA community is like Mafia, guys dont leave it

2008-02-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

Found this interesting post in a discussion of The Pick Up Artist show.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Re: The Pick up Artist

Cosmo won it.

It was interesting though, I don't have a problem getting girls but I'm definitely going to look more into this Mystery guys material. Nobody that watches the show can say that the guys didn't improve tremendously.

------------------------------------------------------- go here to see full discussion

As more people find out about community, more people will join it. Even guys who get girls (as post above stated). Up to this point, there was no way for a guy to change his success with women, but to get completely fed up with his dating failures and then go on try and fail rout. Thats how i started many years ago, and i did fine but i was missing a lot of major points (such as being the prize, understanding why women want to be with guys, and seeing other succeed to believe that success is possible) . I am not sure i would ever get to a point where i am right now, if it wasn't for community. I have to give credit where the credit is due.

What we have now, is an ability to succeed with women that you want, is much easier to achieve then before. If before, you had to jump into cold water head first, now you can get a coach or get materials about pick up or talk to more experienced guys in community, or get it all. In fact you don't have to be all that bad with women, you just might want to improve your game. Thats all. Thats powerful.

Right now, its the amount of products out there, that is more confusing, then finding material itself. People are stumbling on community, soon it will be hard not to stumble.

You don't have to become a player to get value from it, you might just get more dates, or do better on a date, and you might not gotten it all, but you will feel the difference. Guys do feel the difference, and they might go and look up community now, maybe they are not motivated or have a gf, but it will be in the back of their minds and when they are single or get tired of being single, thats when community idea pops up. "Oh, i remember this dude in a funny looking hat, let me check out what he got" then google Mystery seminars. When they guy does get result, what do you think will happen next? He will tell other guys.

Here is a trend i have observed in community and my own lairs, majority of guys don't leave community, they might leave it for 3 month, 6month, year, few years, but majority comes back, think of this as big support school, a big fraternity that lasts after college. This is shocking. In most other industries you buy or get service and you leave, so lets compare it to a tennis, it is a sport but you tend to stay there and you play it or at least follow it, unlike many other sports where youjust watch. You also need a parter or a team mate, so it sounds at least comparable to pua. So lets compare it. just last meeting one guy who used to come, then disappeared mid last summer, shows up and says "time to get back in action, we broke up". There are scores of this examples.

Here is amount of results that i got on google. 302,000,000 for tennis , 358,000 for pua and 2,100,000 for pick up artist.

The difference is big, but let me put to you in statistics. The pick up artist search results is .7% of tennis, and even that is mainly because of lots of mediat links, here pua, a much more true representation of current community size. Here is what Pua to tennis, = .0012= 0.012% about 1/10th of one percent. Now i will give you a riddle, whats more exciting? women or tennis. You can do the rest of the math.

Site names in pick up

2008-02-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

As resident semi expert on domain names in pua community, i would like to say that most pick up site names SUCK. In capital letters. For number of reasons. Lets assume that pick up community will be growing more and more, year by year, which means more and more pick up guys start to teach pick up, or just starting fan sites/bloggs about pickup. How does one pick up guy separates himself from the other? there are few ways, one, reputation and two name of a company. Reputation is number one, it trumps all, but lets say pickup guy is alright, and next pickup guy next to him is alright, who wins? The one with better web site name, because he gets more searches and also direct traffic. Reputation takes time and effort to build, what does domain costs? 10 dollars, you wont substitue it for reputation but you sure can enhances your reputation (and make growing your site much easier), by selecting right name for your site.

I see all this crazy names like, www.pick-up-artist-forum.com lets analyze it. For search engines its not bad, since it come up as first search for pua. Yet, if someone would tell a friend about it, what you going to say? Pick HyphenUpHyphen ArtistHyphenForum.com how does that sounds? not very efficient. Do you know how much it loses visitors to pickupartistforum.com (without hyphens?) A lot. about 40% of direct type in traffic. Or lets take as example name charismaarts.com , who will search for charisma arts as pickup coaching service if they dont know that it is? No Body. On top of that, if my domain name directly matches search results, lets say PickUpFuture.com , I am much more likely to be shown first just because google trusts my name. Google me, you will see that i am ranked as top in my searches just because of the name. I wont even talk about Mysteries Vinnusian arts, to this day i don't know how to spell it correctly. So please, get easy to remember and spell name.

Dont use hyphens in pick-up, this is a fad, putting one extra key is sure way to lose people when you telling them about your site.

Pua guys seem to not understand the value of generic name, so lets say you want to start a pua blog. You can make it "my life views ...blaha blha" or "PUA blogs". Then guess which blog is going to get more traffic and relevance in search engines. The bigger communty becomes the more your domain name is important. You might do pick up for fun, not as a coach, but you still should try the best possible domain for your site.

Video of day time approach

2008-01-31T13:03:00.000-08:00

Guy is does an approach, and doesn't know that he is filmed by hidden camera. Not bad at all, guys is natural , he got good flow, decent start. Talks a bit too much, but over all pretty solid.

Rise of Pickup

2008-01-30T10:29:00.000-08:00

Have you wondered why pua world seems to be one big and happy community? There is no rivalry, its all nice and sweet. A rose garden. We live in Utopia!

What people dont know is what happens behind the scenes of pua industry. I will tell you my personal experience with that with NYC Lair, biggest lair in USA. When i joined pick up community, it was very nice and innocent, just like virgin on her first night. People weren't charing money for coaching, in fact we would just go out after lair meeting and get advice from experienced guys, share things with each other, sarging together, winging.

At the time, only few names were known. Mystery, RSD,Juggler, Swinggcat, DYD (and RJ but i couldnt stand the guy then, and cant now). Seminars weren't existent at that time, we would have a "round table" where we would share our experiences with each other, ask questions. Experienced guys would talk on certain topic (already in that day my topic for speaking was daygame, as i was recognized as top day game guy in the lair (1 minute quality number closes carry certain weight )). There wasn't speakers because, There was no speakers and THERE WAS NO COMMUNITY off line, it was all on the internet. t was all bits and pieces, this is when local communities started to form. So then community started to move from internet to small groups, this was natural. Our group was still on Yahoo groups, and no way of moderation. It was like a child hood with no shadow of a care. Seminars with big guys were far and between, no such thing as every week seminars like right now, and to get to seminar you would have to travel, no such thing as "oh they will come to me".

Then Boom, the teen years of pua community started. It was like hitting puberty, our lair masters realized that maybe the fee for the room can be raised, and then said hey, who wants to go out and see the ropes and pay me 200-300 bucks for a night in 2-3 people workshop, there was enough demand that quickly it became monthly then weekly thing. As soon as money have entered equation, you could feel shadow over the message board, advice was supervised, any posting you made was better not have any advertising or it could lead to being kicked out of the lair. Infact, number of good guys were kicked out. Then lair moved to specific web page just for the group. Then there was internal fightings, group brakes, faction separations, competitions and this is ALL on local level. I was one of the top guys but not the owner, so i got to see this transformation upfront and in live vivid color. I was part of it. The top lair guys would get together on occasion, we would have our clique, sometimes sarging, sometimes drinking, four or 5 of us. It was good times, before money entered equation, then it all fell apart.

Now think about how big guys of pua will be duking it out (and already are), and it will happen more and more as more people=more money pour into the community.

Then speakers came, at first just speakers, and then more and more speaker + seminar. So speakers would be promoting their seminars, "Hey, come and learn the secrets at my seminar week later". At first there was speakers without seminars, but as time went by, every speaker had to present a seminar. Lair would of course pocket good amount of the registration fee (dont know exactly what percentage, but do know that they got more then speaker). Then they added their full time coach, who is like local pua, who charges for one on one ongoing programs.

Lairs all over country following or will follow this structure. NYC was/is biggest lair in the country and so it developed faster then others into the pua money making machine for the owners, but smaller lairs wont be far behind. I left that group about 2 1/2 years ago after being fed up with bs. More lairs will pop up, we are social creatures, and we want more interaction and wingmen and all that. How big this will get? Who knows, i wont be surprised if pua community will be 5 or 10 times the size of what it is now in 5 years.

PUA Industry: Part 2

2008-01-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

Who are the middle players of pickup? There are a few, such as : charisma arts (juggler) , pua training, the approach, pick up 101, real world seduction (aka swinggcat) . Three of them are established players who has been around for many years. Swinggcat and juggler are veterans.
Pick up 101 is more recent arrival, and pua training is the newest of the bunch with only year and half of life, but of the four pua training raising the fastest to the top. Currently top UK pick up coaching service. Then there is the approach, australian company that is quickly raising up. The pua coaching (and material) is spreading through the world. It started with english speaking countries. But, i have just spoked to a russian client of mine, who have taken some kind of Russian style of seduction boot camp, that went for 8 weeks in Russia. Germany and Russia are two countries that catching up fast with English speaking countries in pua growth. It will take few more years but they will get there. Then India and China to follow (billion PUAs? I am exaggerating but not by too much). What if pua community became the new black of dating?

Mid sized companies dont have as much following or clients as big guys of MM and stylelife, there fore they have to get clients differently. They cant just charge 3k for seminar every weekend and still get enough people for it, so they have to improvise.

Charisma arts charges 1550 for boot camps, Swinggcat just sells his ebook but has large traffic. Of all other guys i would recommend him the most since i learned a lot from his ebook. I would rate it as a must read (39.95). The approach charges 1400 for seminar and pick up 101 ( who should update their website, because it looks like crap) charges 2700 for seminars but has them every other week (and also their site sounds like used car salesmen). Pua training charges 550 pounds = 1100 $
Medium companies font have privet training in each city, unlike big guns such as MM or Stylelife. So they have to fly and do it, or coach on the phone, and therefore not as efficient as bigger guys.

Exposure seems to be the key for the pua company to make it big, and the key to exposure is having big name behind you. For example, MM has name of mystery (even though he no longer works there, Vinusian arts has Mystery, Stylelife has Neil Strauss. RSD used to have Tyler Durden but he is no longer big name, he is a have been. Pickup 101 has lance mason. Charism arts has juggler but he is just a ok name, same with pua training and swinggcat.

Pua effect on corporate world

2008-01-29T10:24:00.000-08:00

Top CFO Fired For Being A Player

"David Colby was one of corporate America's most admired executives before he was fired abruptly last spring for what was vaguely described at the time as misconduct of a "nonbusiness nature." Now details about his personal life are spilling out, and it's clear he was more than just Wall Street's darling.
etails in a motion filed Jan. 15 in Ventura (Calif.) Superior Court depict the former chief financial officer of health insurance giant WellPoint as a corporate Casanova -- a world-class, love-'em-and-leave-'em sort of guy who romanced dozens of women around the country simultaneously, made them extravagant promises and then went back on his word"
To read more go to source "

Just goes to show how much pua becoming part of culture.

Saw this on Thundercats site.

Here is a funny video of some sexual foreplay ;)

2008-01-29T09:39:00.000-08:00

Is Pua skill is an Industry? Pick up Industry: Part1

2008-01-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

Not yet. We've got few major players aka heavy weight gorillas: Mystery,Style, RSD,DYD . Then we got some medium players: the approach, charisma arts, pickup 101, and few others. Than we got huge! HUGE wave of new comers or already established guys coming in with small practices, this wave is growing every day. Daily all over usa, new lairs pop up. In New York, we have about 9 different pick up groups ( i ran 2 of them, 1 i've created and 1 i got from a friend) and 6 of them were created last year. Only two of them major and active with monthly meeting: NYC lair and NewYorkPua, but i wont be surprised if in two years it will have 5 active groups with over 500 members.

Going back to pua industry players:
Training prices were going up for past two years for boot camps. Original mystery bootcamp was $500 for three days, now 3k. Currently Real social dynamics seems to be the wal mart of pickup. With low prices and questionable quality.

What defines small,big and medium guys? I will breaking down, what big guys do to make most $ In next posts the others to follow.

The size of the operation of big players and how it is ran.
Lets take Mystery Method, it has bootcamps and 1on1 coaching weekends (now its 1 day, a two years ago it was whole weekend starting Friday night) . Mystery method promotes boot camps every month, and those with more $ can work with 1on1 instructors individually. They have individual coaches in most large cities, and therefore coach gets set percentage of money for each client he works with. So if person cant afford one on one he goes to workshop, and if he can he selects one on one. Also if there is no seminars in certain cities for a while, 1on1 guys can accommodate some people who dont want to wait for seminars, and are willing to pay for it.
It seems MM just introduced supper conference, with such dreamy names as Gold and Silver package. This applies to Style life and RSD, they have very similar plans. This how big guys work.

Natural Pick up

2008-01-27T19:59:00.001-08:00

Battle of Natural vs Routine. Who will be victorious? Of course most of us will cheer for the underdog which currently is daygame/natural game, because routines are flashier and have such big names as Mystery and Style behind it. Naturals big name is David Deanglelo and double your dating, and he is not even good pua himself. I personaly big follower of natural skill, natural game, natural pickup in life as well as in approaching and meeting women. I find it more natural and more fun, because it is not work, and meeting women shouldn't be work.

I am happy to see that natural game / daygame gathering steam and a lot more people showing interest in it, even when compare it to how it was only a year ago. In my Wingmen group i see a lot more interest in day game in comparisons to even six month ago. I am glad to see guys wanting to build up their personalities and gain confidence, rather then substitute those attributes with the routines. And no even in the beginning routines are not helpful, i have years of dating coaching and observations to prove it, and might write a post about it. The reason WHY "MPUA"s stressing out that you should learn routine, is because it is much easier to teach them. Its lines, memorize and you are done. Where when you are developing your natural alpha male, it takes a lot more then routines to get good, but change is global and starts affecting your whole behavior. I just wrote an article on natural speed dating, i have posted .
it here.

Speed Dating

2008-01-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

Follow up to natural pick up post:

Three steps to natural speed dating event.

Speed dating always seemed an interesting phenomenon to me. The advertising i saw, made it seem like when i sign up, I am getting a free date and that things couldn’t go wrong, women are already there and ready to be picked BY ME. “WoW” I though to myself that’s soooo good, almost too good to be true. So I signed up for my first speed dating event to see what this whole experience was about. On my first event, I went with guns blazing: charming, loud, funny, completely in my frame. Girls loved me…. Right? Well nope, I didn’t get a single match. Apparently being charming, funny, and confident to EVERYONE wasn’t the right message to send since I couldn’t POSSIBLY connect with every single girl. Somehow, I was painting myself straight into the player category.

Let me tell you, it stings when you speed date and you feel as if you have connected with a number of women but then you find out a few days later that there are no matches waiting in your mailbox. It would have been easy for me to blame every woman that I met for not liking me or simply rationalize that I didn't like anyone at the event. I could also go into despair wondering if something is wrong with me. However, that’s simply not true. Speed dating is a great way to meet new people. Everyone is single and women are actually paying to meet me! I just had to learn which pitfalls to avoid. Less blunders equal more matches which translates into more dates for me.

Since that event, I have made some changes to my entrance: lower key, not opening to everyone, kept confidence in check (over confident = arrogant) and matches started rolling in, in mass. So after attending too many speed dating events to figure out what works and what doesn’t, I want to share with you what I found out if you want to not only meet more women but also meet the women you want.

Before I get into details, I suggest arriving at the speed dating event a few minutes early. This way you'll have enough time to grab a drink and feel more comfortable, instead of arriving a few minutes late and having to scramble to get to the event.

#1 Mindset is what matters

We tend to spend a lot more time focusing on our clothing when going on a date, but much less time devoted to focusing on our own mindset. This is probably the biggest mistake we make because we are putting too much emphasis on dressing up and not enough emphasis on thinking positive and seeing ourselves as fun and attractive. Women get the feeling that when we are confident, we are attractive. So… you should be well groomed because, let's face it, in this day and age, it's practically mandatory but the next time you are getting ready for a speed date, take five minutes away from your grooming time and remind yourself that women are at the event for a reason. And that reason is to meet you: a fun, relaxed and confident man. To do this, think of some success that you have had in the past. Remind yourself of how you have faced some challenges and dealt with them. Get in a state of confidence by listening to music that puts you in a confident mood, give yourself a pep talk, or do anything that you normally do to gain your assured personality. Remind yourself that you are a cool guy who values himself and the women will find you attractive and will want to know more about you.

#2 Don't be too serious.

When we don't know somebody, it's our tendency to find out all of the facts about the other person first. Where do they live? Where do they work?. Who are their second cousins? These questions are all good, but don't begin a conversation with them. In fact, if they don't come up, then it's even better. Have some fun while you are on a speed date. Talk about a recent travel or something curious that you've heard on the news. One of the most underused conversational pieces are current events but there is a stigma to talk about these boring events with friends and people you don't know, so reverse it. Before the event, pick up the newspaper, leaf through it, get some ideas and spot a few things that you find unusual or amusing. Here are some actual headlines: 'Woman Finds Unicorn Under Her Bed' or 'Wedding Ring Deflects A Gun Shot, Saves A Life'. Stay away from serious or political issues. Now you are ready for a speed date. Speed dating is not synonymous with bore dating. So don't take the speed dating activity too seriously because this is not a job interview. Start with a joke and then you can touch up on other elements that interest you. Remember, you only have a few minutes to have a conversation. Becoming boring by asking tedious questions is not memorable, so have fun in the conversation.

#3 Don't try to impress

Most men are trying too hard to impress a woman. What they don't know is that when you try too hard to impress, you come off as needy. When you come off as needy, you are not going to find a match. Remember, she is there for a reason and that reason is you: a fun and interesting guy. Don't do all the talking in the conversation. Let your date ask you some questions in return. Don't brag about your great car or your well paid job, unless it naturally comes up. Removing the need to impress will do amazing things for your social and dating life. Arrive at each speed dating event with the attitude that you are there to have fun rather than anticipating the dread of the first date. It will make a world of difference. It's great when a conversation is going so well and you feel that you have a lot to say, and then you hear a signal to move on to meet the next woman. It's great because if you had so much fun and interesting things to talk about, you will want to see each other again. That's a match right there. There is no need to impress.

Remember, speed dating is an exciting way of meeting new people when you come to an event with a positive attitude. Look at the event as a fun experience rather than a serious activity. You may be surprised with how many more matches you get.

Motion

Pick up future: Part 5

2008-01-26T08:42:00.001-08:00

YestedayI was talking to friends of mine (gf and Bf) not from the community, and at some point of conversation "The Game" came up. It seems both of them have read it, in fact book was part of the book club monthly reading the girl was a member of. It seems a lot of women have read the game. As conversation continued on the topic of the game, she mentioned that when last time she had a party, almost every guys who saw "The game" on the book shelf, have recognized it and read it. Considering that 90% of the people donut read books beyond college, this an interesting phenomenon. It seems "The game" is breaking the 90% no reading rule, and more guys tell other guys to read it. Another question is, how many guys will use ideas from the game now? and how many will use it in a year? because if something doesn't work and we know there is a solution, sooner or later we will move to that solution. Its a matter of time, so if they dont find someone naturaly, tendency to go back to the source of advice. In this case "The Game"

At some point, the guy friend said: the pick up guys doing things that unnatural. It made me smile, why does we, as guys do it? an interesting question, that has many answers. We want women, we want to feel confident, get what we want... but this is all just an upper layer reasons. If we look at how dating has changed in last 10 years, with introduction of online dating (read other posts bellow that go in depth on it), the switch of power clearly favored women in online dating.

Because if the guy was good at meeting women off line, he was still good online, while if guy has trouble meeting women off line, he will not be meting women he likes on line. So in this case nothing changed for men, however if women wasn't good at meeting people off line (no time, not social, etc) but sufficiently cute, she couldnt display herself (because thats about all that woman needs to do). With internet dating, she now can talk to men, bunch of men who all can contact her, without leaving a room, which resulted in dozens guys contacting her daily (she has to become more picky, if before good enough was enough, no she doesnt have to settle for good enough) Scary thought, but boy how true it is. Have you spoken to your female friends who do online dating? Do it, they normally gets dozens IOIs (indications of interest), every day from online suitors. Now think about yourself? do you as a guy, get dozens requests for talk every day? how about 1? So whom does online dating favors?

It favors guys with solid social skill, and women. Those guys with social skill, if before they could have approached 1 or 2 women, now they contact dozen women and since they have advantage of solid social skill, they will get a much better return on their emails then average guys. The guys with weaker social skill have no chance. None and shot.

What i am saying is, is it possible that online dating switch pendulum in one direction? and pickup community l is just balancing it out? I think its reasonable to think that solution was needed, since online dating does favor heavily women and social guys. Thats what i told to my friend, and he thought about it, and was like "hmmmm you might be right". Am I? who knows, all i know for sure, online dating have changed dating scene heavily. There is much less investment in time, and conversation can cut short for no reason. Walking eggshell for many guys. This only has reconfirmed societal influence of women to make choice, and gave her even more choice with new technology. I think pick up and growing ballz, was necessary and natural evolution to our more and more mobile/internet dating and abundance of choice.

90% of Dating coaches are women

2008-01-25T11:48:00.000-08:00

This is pretty much blind leading blind, where women teaching guys how to meet and date. I was just reading a column about female dating coach, and the advice she was giving was not only counter intuitive but also counter productive. What boggles my mind, is that guys actually pay for that. Men should be teaching men and women should be teaching women. If a woman have never approached a girl with a purpose of having sex, she cant teach guys how to approach women. SHE CANT.

Vice versa, if a guy teaches women how to date, he is a fraud and just trying to cash in on the market. Yet, since 90% of the dating coaches are women, the problem for the guys is much greater then for the women. Women cannot and will not teach a guy how to meet women, she will teach him how to be wussy, how to supplicate and how to be a rug on whom women can walk. You should watch some of the videos. Here is a great example of why women can't give advice to men on meeting women.

Even if women has some common sense on teaching guy how to date, she doesn't have ANY experience. Only if she is a lesbian, then i will give her credit, since at least she experienced approach. Although i still think lesbians have an easy time meeting women, for various reasons, such us girl wont have a shield up when other girl approaches. So lesbian gets a maybe nod, still not as good as guys coach, but close.

This is why pick up artists are doing so well now, because what dating coaches teach now (90% women) are at best case scenario wont help, and in worst case scenario make guy much less confident and even more self conscious. At least pick up artists teach how to be ballzy and confident, women teach how to be a wuss. I will go as far as to say, bad pick up artist coach is 10xtimes better then good female coach. Women are in the field of teaching guys how to meet women,only for the money. period.

Future of dating industry

2008-01-24T22:20:00.000-08:00

To see how pick up industry will move, we have to look at the bigger picture. Change in the societies behaviours. I found a very interesting post about it here is part of it

"

The need for dating services

Latest studies suggest that the U.S. dating market is about 2 billion $ (reference coming soon). But this is just an empirical observation validating the idea that there is a real need for dating services; and understanding why is more interesting then just knowing the fact. Here we are not seeking to understand the need to date. Psychologists or biologists might be interested by this question, but in the context of this review we will consider the need to date as being trivial. What we are trying to understand is why in our society, as opposed to others (more traditional) , individuals are ready to pay for dating services. The dating market in the U.S. has exploded in the past decade; what happened in our society, and what should we expect in the future?

Here are some factors that combined together help us to explain why dating services became something worth paying for in North America.

Marriage is on decline, and the number of singles is on the rise.
Long-term relationships don’t come with a life guaranty anymore.
People are settling down at older ages, and before that, they have time to try a few different relationships.
Emancipation of women: they are free to date before marriage; they also have the means to put an end to an unsuccessful relationship.
Openness towards sex before marriage.
Society doesn’t encourage family-values like before.
Career pressure and time pressure increase over time.
Mobility: people tend to move more often, and to be dislocated from their social network.
Because of the gravity of sexual harassment in the workplace people shy away from getting involved in intimate relationships at work.
The emergence of the happy and sociable single: as the stigma of being single fades away, and more services suited for singles are offered, some individuals decide not to get involved in long-term relationships.
Family less involved in matchmaking.

These social factors are very real, and we can safely predict that the need for dating services will remain present in the near future. These considerations also delineate the cultural sensitivity of proposed dating services. "
The rest of the article

So if we dispose of all the sugar coating, what we have is, less family values, longer single, less time to date people. They need short cuts, dating coach or pick up artist or internet dating and probably all three of them.

Internet dating affected guys more then women, now guys who are good with women, could reach x5 times more women. While guys who weren't good with women to begin with, felt back even further behind, since women are not settling for good enough (see previous article). Hmm, i can see how it all starting to fit together. The rise in internet, rise in pick up, guys having less choice, women having more, something needs to even out odds. I am looking forward to what will happen next.

Internet dating and social sites = Paradigm shift in dating

2008-01-24T21:37:00.000-08:00

I am continuously mining for data on the field of dating, pick up and all the ins and out. Some of you will ask, why? just because i find this whole field of dating fascinating. Dating coach/ internet dating industries are also very recent. I stumbled on this post by accident, this a view of a women who dated in real world before internet and how now she treats dating. AMAZING. here is her post I am pasting it in all entirety, because i think it needs to be seen fully, to truly appreciate how internet affected our habits in just a few short years.

"
I dated for 20 years in "the real world". I always had a boyfriend--nice, decent, employed, good looking men usually. My boyfriends usually shared common interests -- in particular, a love of the outdoors, backpacking, sailing, skiing and climbing. We would meet, date a few times, and it seemed that a monogamous relationship quickly followed. After all, back then, you were lucky to meet someone date-worthy a few times a year. A date was rare, precious and treated as a special opportunity.

But all that changed in the last ten years with online dating. I've found it's almost impossible to get past the first date on to the second. I now date 3 times a week -- instead of a few times a year. And it seems almost impossible to meet a man who honestly shares my interests. And these men (and I admit, myself as well) treat these dates as disposable commodities. Hey, if it doesn't work out, you've got 28 more potential suitors in your in box. So why give a date a second chance, why tolerate someone who might need a few tweaks, who isn't perfect out of the box? Why would you accept a fixer upper when there are so many possibilities to choose from?

In this land of plenty, of too many choices, I find that myself and my friends are lonelier than ever. We expect so much -- and while holding out for perfection, we find the months passing by, increasingly alone.

I for one, would love to see online dating abolished and go back to the "old way" of meeting people -- on the dance floor, cheek to cheek, where the chemistry is obvious, where you can see and smell and touch. "

Shocking! Stunning! i feel like something just hit me, i for the first time see the whole scope and what it means in the future.

Is in it mind boggling? The change, the attitude in change. The Internet changed dating.

While i don't really agree with internet is dating killer, it certainly adds to options. In fact name of the dating game now, is OPTIONS.

Now women have even more choice, and even more guys are left on side lines. Because she is not willing to settle for good enough. GOOD ENOUGH!!! is not good enough anymore. Is there questions, why guys are flocking to pickup/dating coaches? because we want restoring the balance. The balance, where guys are not wussified pusses, but a men. Online dating doesn't make a man, taking risk, taking rejection, swallowing the pride and going out and approaching.

This is paradigm shift, and i think 99% of us don't realize, what internet is doing, and how our whole interactions are changing. Meet up groups, is very similar to that, it is pseudo social circle with pseudo friends who you see once in a while with events. It is My space of real life.

Day game and why i love it

2008-01-24T18:02:00.001-08:00

Few disclaimers:
Day game is natural game, it is. Don't think of day game as a pick up skill, it should be extension of your personality. To have solid day game, you need to be yourself. I dont mean wimpy, wussy yourself. I mean confident, fun and enjoying interactions with women yourself.

Now to real reason. I just broke up with my gf of 5 month, well it was mutual, since i didn't feel spark anymore and she was becoming a nag. It was exclusive relationship, so i didnt cheat on her nor did i want to, it was good match. Sadly, not anymore as she is 31 and her biological clock began to tick. Nothing i can do about it. Brake up was monday, very next day as i was going to client session, i met ( i dont do pick up, since pick up can be called like i want something from a girl, and i don't, i just want to have fun times in the interaction) really hot (HB9) who is also FUN in one stop (well we also were getting off on same stop, so add a minute of walking) on a train and got her number (aka she wanted to give me her number). Just spoke to her on phone, and we meeting sunday (just after i finish teaching client). This is what real day game is all about, going through your day, and meeting women that you want to meet, without inconvenience of time or pressure to relocate. In most situations time constraint is already there, and its just letting natural attraction flow. Its on my own time, its convenient and i am enjoying it. I LOVE IT.

She also waited for me, while i took a call from a client, and then i took her number, but thats just details ;)

What style will be victorius? Natural pickup vs Routines

2008-01-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

Routines have had a large impact on pua community. In fact, first half of 2000's in pua community, i would call routine teachings were the King, most puas did it. Natural skill of meeting women was standing in the corner and quietly smoking. Is it so now? Nope, day game/natural skill is taking over. I personally know number of guys who prefer to teach natural skill, me included. In fact, last time i held my wingmen meeting, about 80% wanted to know about natural skill. Thats significant, compared to few years ago when most people at the lair meetings, wanted to know best routine. It seems pick up industry taking steps away from routine approach, and more toward natural ability to understand women. This might have to do, with overload of pickup material. I am very happy its going this way, i dont want to hear "who lies more" ever again. That said, routines will still be used, but due to growth of pick up community, not only will they be used less, they will be also detected a lot more by women. Therefore natural progression will be to move away from routines.

I like natural approach, i like having fun meeting women, even if it doesn't go anywhere. It just about having fun. I think routines emphasize work and effort over fun. If that was only problem, i would be fine with that, but routines also make guys learn more routines to be ready for any situation (which is impossible), there fore we have circle of dependency. Where, to go out, you need to learn more and to learn more, you need to spend effort. Spending effort is not fun. Meeting women is not work, so get on with it.

Bottom line, routines will still be here for a long time. Main reasons are, we are all different, some want to meet cool girl and have great relationship, and others just want sex. Then there are many people in between of those two. Routines more aligned with just getting laid, and natural pickup is more aligned with sex plus build up of some kind of feelings (or just feeling energy). Routines easier to learn, becoming natural is a whole journey, and it take much longer then just learning routines.

Good Pua - Bad Pua

2008-01-22T22:32:00.000-08:00

Right now Pick up "industry" is free for all. No rules, no barriers. There is no entry barriers, anyone with website builder can be a "The Pick Up Artist". There is no skill level, no certification. Your uncle can open up a shop that teaches "newest seduction secrets", whats stopping him or anyone else with a website? In reality, nothing.

The real reason for such growth of semi potent puas, is the amount of people who finding out about seduction and pick up industry. Before, no one knew of us and now that seduction community is close to hitting main stream visibility, people might not like it but they will know about it. This will lead to a completely new game, the game of high bucks and cutthroat competition. Some standards will have to appear, there will be some kind of regulation, i am not sure how. Government still doesn't realize how much money is going into this, but it will in a few years.

What separates pick up industry from local competition, is branding of the name. Big names = Big brands. Mystery, Style. Two big names. Mystery was kicked out of mystery method, but mystery method is doing better then mystery new shop AND HE HAD VH1 promoting his new thing.

Pick up Past

2008-01-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

Found this hilarious footage from the 90s of chris farley doing day time approaches. It is interesting to note, that even though he really tries super had to mess up (and boy he tries hard to mess up, on purpose), he just comes off so confident and entertaining that in some cases he literally have to walk away from the set.

You will notice that for example when he is pealing oranges as an approach! Fantastic. Then he says its our first chore together, girl is loving it, so they cut the footage! to Tim Arnolds in a car who says its not working, yah the video of making Chris Farley look dumb doing day time approach is not working, because its actually working!

Wingmen sites for puas?

2008-01-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

What i have been noticing with a community, is the lack of medium that allows you to have easy way to find wingmen in the area. I run a lair in New York (NewYorkPua.com) with 350+ guys and i've started it less then a year ago, 11 month to be exact. Yet right now it is second biggest and most active Lair in nyc area, why? just because my idea was to build a group where speakers are just an added bonus and real experience was to be build on communication and outings among wingmen members.
Very interesting was my try to host similar group with women, called NYC wing women, boy was that a flop. Good learning expereince, but the bottom line is, women dont want or need wing women, because they already have their friends precisely for that. In fact women are amazing wingmen.
I have seen groups rise and fall to ashes, with no organization, with weak experience, with no communication. I think the market for wingmen is under served, and it can be targeted not only to community of puas, but to any guys who just want to go out but thir friends are on vacation or dont want to go out. There is a need for this kind of site. I am currently have programmers and designers working on some so to speak:"top secret" project for now. It is very likely that it will create shift of perception in community about finding wingmen. Around this time next month, a lot more will be revealed. '
I have so much in the works my head is spinning, but that what keeps me happy. Between coaching clients in field, talking to my designers and programmers, communicating with community leaders as well as members, i am also in the process of developing DatingCoach.org
to have local dating coaches on it , so people in every area in USA, can use it as dating coach directory so to speak. But if you have read my views on pua and dating coach, perception differences of the two, dating coaches name sounds much friendlier to not community people.
This project will take a while to develop, but in a year this should be a great resource for people to get information on dating coaches local.
I would love to hear some comments or opinions on development of pua community or any other comments or observations related to it.

Split personality? Dating coach or PUA

2008-01-18T18:55:00.000-08:00

This has been giving me bugging me for a while. Dating Coach or PUA? For one, i never called myself MPUA, but people have called me that. I always considered myself a dating coach, is there a difference between the two? Well maybe not to guys in community, but there is certainly a difference to people who come from outside of the community. Most people wont know what pick up artist means, but 100% of people will know what dating coach means. To a many people Pick up artist sounds cheesy, and not something they want to be associated with or learning from. It is in much lesser degree so about learning from dating coach.

Most people wont admit they are part of PUA community, aside when they are with other puas, while some people will admit working with dating coach. There is still this whole notion that dating coach is not cool, but if we look on people working with therapist, 15 years ago it was big no no, now everyone and their dog goes to one and tell their friends about it. I think it will be similar idea here, maybe not to same degree but certainly it will reach certain level of acceptance. While PUA will still be GIANT underground movement even 5 years from now, it will not be embraced by general public, too much negative connotation rides on word pickup artist.

There fore, i am more then certain that we will see a gap widening between dating coaches and PUAs, but both fields will grow, mainly because dating coach field will feed on people who don't want to be PUAs but want to get better with women. I dont think there will be much loss from dating coach to pua, due to much more growth and publicity right now is concentrated around pick up growing industry. Some people will prefer to work with someone who has more sophisticated and less cheesy name. You join PUA for community, you go to dating coach for guidance.

Dating coach will be centered around teaching 1on1, personalized. PUA industry is epitome of mass market, seminars and e-books galore. I do give my own seminars but only twice a year, and i don't travel for them. PUAs travel to different countries just to get a speaking gig.
So we will see more and more mass market from pua, and more and more dating coaching personalization.

My own experience with being dating coach for past 4 years, is every year our company does better and better. We went from barely surviving to, doing well (not fantastic yet, but certainly well) . We add more services, we customize more coaching and we raise prices, and more and more people coming to us. When The Pick up artist show hit the screen, we had huge infusion of request for coaching. Just to show you how serious it is, we are opening office in manhattan next month with completely redesigned site, pua industry a reason for it? At least partially, it is.

Who will be the next brake out Pua? and my take on where is PUA community is headed.

2008-01-18T16:04:00.000-08:00

We have number of new and not so new guys entering the scene every day. Mystery and Style this days are in community more for the money then anything else, there are a lot of up and coming puas and more will be entering the fray daily. Some who are skilled skilled, and more of those who come for the money. I one upcoming guy from new york is Julian Foxx, whom i know personally and have seen his skill in the field. He has relentless drive to improve and has very solid natural skills and i think he will be dominant and recognized player in pua community before end of 2008. This is my bet, some say that we have explored all there is to seduction, and i say they are wrong. If anything, we just getting to basics, and there is any number of new guys that can turn community upside down, and surely some will.

In 2008 we will see number of puas x3, coaches as well as guys flacking to community. So if we have 2,000,000 -4,000,000 ( my estimation by watching pua community for a while and VH1 reports of viewership) men who know about pick up community, by year end we will have 6,000,000-12,000,000 . It doesnt mean they will be active, but they will know about it, maybe try some products.

What will come out from this kind of increase? well as i have mentioned before, pua craze might or might not sweep the nation, but what certain to happen is people moving from techniques to natural style. Not because of routines, but because women will start picking up on routine structure. You can use only so many time before women become to catch up AND share the news with their friends about " I need female opinion" or " are this hair is real?", we know how fast gossips travel among women, and i am curious to see what will happen next.

Conventions

2008-01-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

As PUA community gets bigger, more and more big events will be hosted. Mainly because, the key word is community. And Pua world is one big community, with its own lairs and groups all over the place, but even those groups are interconnected. At the moment it is because, there are few people and it is our human nature to look for common interests with people. Wingmen, learning technics, socializing its very natural that we do it. Once it will go bigger, it will be harder to keep that personal connection with everyone, so there will a need for big events to take a part in it.

Thats why i think next year will see few large conventions, in fact me and few of my partners will be hosting convention in NYC sometime this summer. It is currently under development, but i will keep you updated on its development. We got amazing domain name for it, and just yesterday we finally decided to go ahead with it. I will keep you updated how things moving. Who knows how big it will be, but we expecting about 300 people and number of great speakers. In fact we already have lined up a panel of speakers, and will be adding more.

Everything seems quiet in the Pick up community

2008-01-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if its quiet before storm, or things will be on down low until spring. It certainly seems increasing in demand for local dating coaches, NewYorkDatingCoach has been busy. Our designer in the middle of redesigning our site, but even with old site the amount of enquirers that we have been getting about coaching is high, certainly much higher then last year. The idea behind the new site, is to make it much more interactive and fresher looking.

Interesting stufy on psychology

2008-01-11T10:07:00.001-08:00

If you have read books such as red queen and selfish gene, you should know it. But it still good summary for those who read those books a while and if you haven't then you should read this article on flirting.

PUA mania on the horizon?

2008-01-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

If you think there is a lot of pick up artist around right now, wait a year. The amount of people in community will double, maybe triple. I think the young guys will be going more for pua stuff, and older crowd will start looking for dating coach. Pua mania, we not even close to it yet, we are at the start of it. I am thinking of wild west, and since what pick up artists teach (at least some of them) is applicable in real life and will get you better results with girls, that means a lot more guys will want on that trend.

I am right now thinking how big it will be, and i am having hard time imaging it, because even alright guy needs a lot of tips and once this goes main stream (and it still hasn't) people will be looking to get better with women, and fast. Milions upon millions of people jumping into pua, not just young guns but all ages. This is only usa i am talking about, but it will become global, other countries already catching up. Such as Germany or UK are ahead of the pack, but the slow runners will catch up too. India, china, countries where this is not even know, it will get there. I know that there are boot camps already hosted in russia, and this is just a start.

Imagine Chinese men in china, a country with its 1.5 billion pop, and more men then women all of sudden learn about pick up. It will be different language and it means different tactics and mind set, but biology remains the same. Those guys will give an arm and a leg just to learn all that stuff, that will put them ahead of the 500 (i am discounting 250 million in case they married) million pack.

USA is usually ahead of the pack, and if in usa it just getting some headlines, it will take another 2 to 5 years to penetrate to India or china, but the the mechanism is already in motion. Damn, i sounding too optimistic even to myself, can this be real? judging by what i am seeing and how fast everything develops, i might actually be understating it.

If this was some fad like, brittney spears new boy friend, but we talking about procreation, the element that is most important to us. In fact in maslovs theory it stays on our most basic level, we need food, shelter... and sex. This something my behavioral teacher told me, he said, its not shown here for ecstatic reason, but sex is the basic need. So no let me ask you , do you think getting girls you want is a fad ? Neither do i.

All we can do now is sit back and watch. It will be what it will be, will find out soon enough.

Future of pick up and pua Domain searches: part 2

2008-01-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

I might have been a bit too rush to call pick up..... . com a king, in past few weeks as i have been watching trends it seems pua will have just as good if not bigger traffic. Which means pua and pickup domains are about even at the moment, and pua might rush forward at some point, at the moment they are head to head. The reason why i think pua is even with pick up, is because more and more people joining community, and pua.... com is used a lot to building new sites.

While pick up, will still remain the most peoples choice of words, just because pua is shortening for pick up artist. So pick up.... .com searches will increase along with pua, just because people think differently and some use short cuts, while other use full extensions. If we will judge by ny dating coach, nyc dating coach, and new york dating coach searches, we will see the new york is ahead by small margin, but all three searches are very popular. This is my thinking with pua, and pick up searches, as pua grows so will pick up grow. Why am i talking about this? because this is pickup future or pua future, now that i just went and bought puafuture.com as i was writing this. I cant talk the talk without walking the walk.

I enjoy writing this blog, so will try to keep you guys updates.